Since I’m a mindless slave to pretty much any Instagram food trend, something otherworldly drug my ass out of bed at…ok, well, a reasonable hour (no need to lie this early on in the post) and forced me to Walking Dead it to Brooklyn for the infamous “They look pretty but they’re just OK” Rainbow bagels.

As you can view HERE, the Broad City gals have helped make the American public aware of the dangers of these colorful little demons.

Here’s the thing. These bagels are certainly pretty but don’t taste like anything. Demons would probably have a more sulfuric flavor or at least taste really awful. These bad boys taste like whatever cream cheese you put on them.

You know the expression “Made with Love”? Well, there’s no love here (at least at the Metropolitan location). If you or I worked at a bagel shop, we’d plop a dollop of cream cheese on your bagel and then take at least one second to smear it somewhat evenly around the whole bagel.

Not at The Bagel Store. They plop the cream cheese on your bagel, sure. But no spreading. Just angrily smash the top half of the bagel as if they were closing the lid on a stinky garbage can.

Judging by the looks on every employee’s faces, you would have thought their job was to spread fresh poo on baby’s diapers!

Also, the cream cheeses all have this film on them (which is surprising, considering the joint always has a line of folks) and the overall place needs a bath.

What I did quite enjoy was their CRAGELS. As you might guess, that’s a croissant/bagel situation. Mine had cheese and bagel (and I guess, egg) smeared on top and I sensed herbs in the batter. Very much a pull apart, flakey bagel, which ends up being extremely messy to eat.

I showed up around 8 am on a Saturday and only two folks in line ahead of me. That being said, you come later, and the line could be an hour. And the rainbow bagels will probably sell out by 11 am?

Cash only and on the pricey side, I would still say that The Bagel Store is worth a visit, only for the pointless but obligatory Instagram opportunity. You can’t resist, so why even fight it.

Posting every aspect of your dull lives on social media is now a full time job for us all. And just like the war effort in the 1940’s, we’ve all got to do our part.

Rainbow bagel, duh.

Bacon Egg & Cheese Bagel with Jalapeno cream cheese