Jeffrey’s is a perfectly enjoyable brunch experience.

Charming neighborhood eatery in a pleasant part of the West Village.

If I worked for a legitimate website, this post would be enough to have my fired.

Sorry.

 

172 Waverly Pl
New York, NY 10014 b/t Grove St & 10th St
West Village

www.jeffreysgrocery.com

 

 

 

 

 

Hotel restaurants are very consistent.

The décor is stunning, the food is tasty and the prices are high (to pay for the décor and whatever shortfall the hotel is experiencing).

Simon and the Whale (great name) located in the Freehand hotel (one of 1.25 million boutique hotels in NYC that I’ve never heard of) is no exception.

$24 for a burger is standard NYC fare lately, but this one stands out for it’s crispy bun and plentiful green chilies (which aren’t even mention on the menu) and it’s a beaut. The tasty fries appear to be homemade, too.

The fish sandwich was a bit of a letdown, however. Also featured on the dinner menu, this plate is pretty but the sandwich falls apart when you pick it up and the fish is very delicate and not heavily breaded enough to keep it from becoming a big mess of fish and bread on your plate. I also found the fish a bit…..fishy.

Definitely start with the nectarine cream cheese Danish. Even if they’re not serving it. Insist on it or you’ll alert your local congressman!

Service was prompt and friendly and it’s a perfect place for a brief brunch but I think the dinner menu may be a bit more dynamic.

Unless you’re really jonesing for that burger, which is not on the dinner menu.

23 Lexington Ave
New York, NY 10010 b/t 24th St & 23rd St
Flatiron, Gramercy, Kips Bay

 (212) 475-1924

 satw.nyc

 

I’m not sure if Egghead is riding on the coattails of LA’s insanely popular Egg Slut (with their yummy upscale breakfast sammies) or Chelsea’s BEC (less yummy upscale breakfast sammies).

Either way, they have a leg up on BEC because they have a better bun and they also now have fried chicken, which is a tired, tawdry, gimmicky way to lure me into any eatery.

Offer fried chicken atop a garbage can lid and I’ll still poke my head in and see what the fuss is all about.

What all three of these restaurants have in common is they are charging at least double if not triple what your local bodega will charge for a only slightly lesser version.

Now, I didn’t actually consume any of the more popular breakfast sandwich options, so should I even be reviewing this? Some may say no. Some may say much worse than that, come to think of it.

While the fried chicken tenders were perfectly crispy, seasoned and worked well with the relish and soft brioche bun, the egg needed some improvement.

It was served similar to McDonald’s, where you get this preformed disc of overcooked egg with zero gooey egg yolk. I mean, it didn’t render the yolk inedible or anything, I still scarfed down every morsel.

But it took away some of the Instagramness of the whole thing, which is really the only reason anyone under 35 does anything these days.

I think if you were to give someone the option of removing their least favorite arm or their phone, I don’t think it would be a surprise if one armed couture started coming down the local runways at fashion week.

While I was waiting for my “pie” at the Chelsea’s new casual Detroit pizza joint, I witnessed many a customer enter, find out they don’t serve slices and then promptly leave.

Their loss!

Sure, while this isn’t where you go for a quick bite for 1 (my sausage and onion pizza, separated into six square slices cost $12 bucks) this is definitely where you need to go if you love Detroit style pizza and you are with a friend or loved one.

And by 2, I mean 1 hungry Bun Boy.

I really had every intention on eating the rest later….but the poor thing was just sitting there….uneaten….waiting to be devoured. I really had no choice!

The pizza was just pure perfection. Just thick enough (like a Sicilian style) to not sit in your gut like a bowling ball like Chicago style. The crust had a slight sweetness to it, which really complimented the sausage and onions. There wasn’t any tomato sauce (which may be a problem for some) but I didn’t miss it.

Damn, I might have to go and get another one today! And share with someone else this time. Someone who’s name rhymes with Fun Foy.

UPDATE: I’m hearing they are now offering smaller sizes for less money!

268 W 23rd St
New York, NY 10011 b/t 7th Ave & 8th Ave
Chelsea

Peas on a pizza???

Yes. Peas on a pizza.

If you’re a pea-hating Peacist like some folks I know, the photo above might seem like it was ripped from your darkest nightmares.

But it was probably the best thing we ate at the new trendy Indian fusion spot Bombay Bread Bar.

While we did end up trying two types of bread (at the insistence of the restaurant’s namesake), they were just ok and for some reason appeared to be shredded as if by an angry feline which made it quite difficult to eat with other foods.

The chutneys were just ok but they really didn’t have a part to play in the tale of our dinner. We tried to eat them with the bread but they were so strong and we didn’t order any meats to go with them. But maybe that’s our bad.

What you really need to be ordering is the Beat Walnut Raita. A menu item that may be shocking to an Indian food purist (who may also be that pea-hating Peacist we were talking about above) but it was quite delicious and that guy just needs to shut the H up.

Other highlights were the Dal Burrata and the Goan Crab Cakes (order them both!) but the lamb Haleem curry (odd pureed texture) and the apple potato chat were simultaneously odd and bland.

The cocktail flavors were fairly benign but boozy enough where you won’t accidentally gulp them down in a few sips like your thirsty self does at some places that serve drinks in those infuriating prohibition era glasses that look diminutive even in a doll’s hand.

A spooky, possessed Victorian doll with tiny cracked porcelain hands who wants to steal your soul but also enjoys a good cocktail from time to time.

 

195 Spring St
New York, NY 10012 b/t Thompson St & Sullivan St
South Village       

(212) 235-1098

• Business website thebombaybreadbar.com

 

 

 

I swear my favorite new NYC restaurants are all Korean.

The flavors are bold and the vibe is always casual, classy and fun. And I mean classy in the 80’s Klassy with a K sense.

While Cote is definitely on the more upscale side and will cost a few more smackaroos, it’s still all those words I just said above. Don’t make me say them again. Fine, casual fun and KLASSY.

You can go a few routes on the menu, but we all kept it simple and went with the $45 pp meat sampler.

It was plenty of food (especially once we added the kimchi fried rice) and perfect for when you don’t know what you’re in the mood for.

You can attempt to cook your own meat, but the service is prompt enough where you won’t have to lift a single spoiled rich finger.

I don’t know what those amazing chicken tenders are (didn’t see them on the menu) but the bartender gave them to us for free since we had to wait for our drinks a bit before getting our table. They were phenomenal!

Do whatever you have to, to get them. Complain about something, rip out a full clump of your own hair and say you found it in your fried rice. Worth it!

Reservations are a pain in the tokus to get, but I wouldn’t try to show up without one.

 

16 W 22nd St
New York, NY 10010 b/t Broadway & 5th Ave
Flatiron

(212) 401-7986

• Business website cotenyc.com

 

HNIH is a lively casual hangout for some elevated yet seriously tasty Korean food.

Unlike your average Korean BBQ joint, there is nothing for you to cook. You can relax and have it all served to you like the royal bastard that you think you are.

We started with a carafe of the insanely delicious grapefruit Sowuju (which isn’t really a real word if you Google it, sounds like HNIH made it up) which is a large handful of grapefruit slices marinated in a ton of Soju (the Korean version of Sake – something I just learned while I was Googling that other word).

While I’m sure we ordered all the wrong things, my favorite items were the potato and corn croquettes, the bulgogi (so freaking flavorful) and the sesame ice cream in a field of green tea biscuit crumbles.

We seriously debated on ordering a second one!

Until our complimentary birthday cheesecake came out….

Everyone in the joint had ordered some kind of large format soup, which is fun to eat. However, I found the broth to be a bit one-sided (kimchi overload) and I didn’t really taste the beef.

Something to note: don’t show up without a reservation.  Also, don’t show up early.

There is not a bar to sit at and they’ll probably not be able to seat you early anyway because loud, obnoxious people like us are there and won’t leave until the kitchen staff are cursing under their breath for us to maybe stop it with the 37 selfie attempts.

17 E 31st St
New York, NY 10016 b/t 5th Ave & Madison Ave
Midtown East

hernameishan.com

 

 

 

Before

After   (We closed the place down!)

I came here for one, solitary reason.

That cheesy as hell burger above.

Now, I’m often disappointed by these enormous, gourmet burgers that run you $29 bucks and leave you dreaming of Burger King.

The patty is way too thick and rare and is surprisingly under seasoned. I like an old school diner burger. Thin, char-broiled within an inch of it’s life patty, special sauce, some pickle situation, super soft bun. Something I can actually eat with my hands.

This burger is none of those things.

But it’s delicious and I want another one right now!

The beef patty was definitely on the rare side but I ate still every single bite. The cheese (an aged cheddar) and those little blistered tomatoes tied it all together and created something magical.

If you’re also in the mood for a starter, you could do worse than order those simple but tasty deviled eggs.

Don’t be fooled at first glance by Suprema Provision’s faux artisan storefront. It’s not exactly set up to push your shopping cart down the aisles.

305 Bleecker St
New York, NY 10014 b/t Grove St & Barrow St
West Village       

(646) 964-4994

supremaprovisions.com

 

Ichiran is, for now, the best bowl of ramen I’ve ever had.

At around $20 a bowl, it’s also the most expensive bowl of ramen I’ve ever had.

BUT SO WORTH IT.

The overall experience is a bit frantic, however.

There was a little line outside to get in but you can spend this time admiring the Freddy Krueger red and white color scheme.

Once inside we were handed our order forms where we could customize your ramen from the doneness of the noodles to the richness of the broth.

I was hungry but not starving so I didn’t order a second helping of the noodles (which has to be done ahead of time and no matter where you turn, you are visually reminded that ordering extra noodles (called Kae-Dama) is an option).

The seating situation is unique as it is meant to cater to the individual diner and each counter seat is divided by a partition but the hostess will still seat you next to your party and it’s still easy to converse.

Once ordered, your food and drink will be slid under a partition in a similar fashion to what I imagine how a low-security prison in Tokyo would serve their inmates.

After you enjoy your insanely flavorful and utterly perfect bowl of ramen, you will receive this odd little tray which must have some kind of James Bond microchip imbedded inside, which you will bring up front to pay your bill.

HELPFUL HINT: The Tonkotsu Egg is sort of a letdown. It’s just a regular hard-boiled egg and not really the yummy, ooey, seasoned egg you might be used to.

132 W 31st St
New York, NY 10001 b/t Fashion Ave & Penn Plz
Midtown West

en.ichiran.com/index.php

 

I must admit that I haven’t tried a ton of Thai food in NYC. I live a few blocks from some really solid choices and I really hate commuting far distances for a $7 meal.

That being said, Uncle Boons Sister is probably my favorite.

The Thai Basil stir fry was bursting with flavor and just the right amount of spicy where I wasn’t panicking about the whereabouts of the nearest bottle of Sriracha.

The Mataba (curried lamb pastry) was definitely on the Indian side, in case those flavors frighten you, but it was also quite nice.

The Laab (fried chicken) wasn’t as glorious as the stir fry but it was what everyone else in that teeny tiny ass place was ordering (only 5 little round tables – it’s more of a takeout joint) so definitely order that if you go with another person.

203 Mott St
New York, NY 10012 b/t Kenmare St & Spring St
Nolita       

(646) 850-9480

uncleboonssister.com