In LA, (at least when I last lived there) the best Chinese food could be found in the San Gabriel Valley and it was worth the drive.

In NYC, there is amazing Chinese food everywhere, even around the corner from my apartment. But especially in Manhattan’s Chinatown. There are a ton of cheap, delicious food options there.

However, I wanted to check out the food scene in Flushing, Queens to see what the fuss was about. I tried three of the most popular spots.

WHITE BEAR:

I LOVE THIS PLACE.

I love it far too much to make a “thank you for being a friend” joke.

Like many oldies my age, I grew up with the Golden Girls. So, obviously if someone were to open up a Golden Girl’s themed café (which they did) of course I would go.

I usually tweak all my blog photos before posting (which are always taken with my rapidly aging iPhone 6) using my Photoshop app but I decided not to for this place. I wanted to let the beauty that was Blanche, speak for herself.

Opened by a close friend of Rue McClanahan’s, this place is packed with her memorabilia. Even her old driver’s licenses! There are lots of photos of other cast members but it’s mostly Rue’s stuff.

There is always an episode of The Golden Girls playing on the TV and whenever the theme song comes on, the volume gets turned WAY up. It’s really fun.

The food isn’t bad. It’s just…random.

Apparently Rue used to steam her eggs using her Espresso Machine so those are recreated here. They are pretty good though.

The Betty White Cake was a bit much for one person to consume, but I still did it. It was the least I could do, to honor the late, great Betty White. Oh sorry, she’s not dead yet.

They have cheesecake on the menu (duh) and serve some grilled sandwiches (which are the way to go, really good) but don’t come here planning on some great meal.

Instead, come here for the magic. Since they serve beer and wine, maybe you can create a game where you drink every time Sophia calls Blanch a slut.

4396 Broadway
New York, NY 10040
b/t 189th St & 187th St
Washington Heights
Phone number (917) 521-0820
ruelaruecafe.com

Betty White Cake

Espressed Eggs with Sausage – Apparently Rue used to make these with the steam wand of her espresso machine….

The Ribbon is a fine choice for brunch on the Upper West Side.

That may not sound like a rave review, but trust me. That’s my happy face.

Let’s face it, I don’t venture up yonder very often to get my eatin’ on. I have some semblance of taste, after all.

But there are a few decent eateries up north, and The Ribbon is one of them. Plus, it’s pretty spacious so you won’t have to worry about making some silly reservation, like a poor person.

They have some creative and, more importantly, heavy handed mimosas to choose from. So, do that.

The Deviled Eggs with pickled peppers (which I also recently had at Motel Morris) were a nice start but definitely someone in your party should order the Hot Chicken and Cheddar Chive Pancake. That sh*t was truly tasty.

Ok, it’s Friday so I have better things to do than write some dumb blog post. Who has a blog anymore, anyway?? Poor people, that’s who.

20 W 72nd St
New York, NY 10023
b/t W Central Park & Columbus Ave
Upper West Side
(347) 504-7541
theribbonnyc.com

Mimosas – $13

Deviled Eggs w/ Pickled Peppers – $7

Smoked Nueske Bacon – $8

Blueberry Pancake – $17

Hot Chicken & Cheddar Chive Pancake – $21

The swanky Public Hotel and their rooftop bar have received a few scathing reviews on Yelp (which are amusing to read) but the Jean Georges restaurant Public Kitchen is a knock out.

And unlike the rooftop, you don’t have to go through three bouncers to get some grub.

If your friend is running late (and in this case, she was) there is a lovely outdoor lawn/courtyard situation where you can wait under the shade of some trees.

I won’t go into too many details because the food we ordered was your pretty standard, upscale comfort food brunch fare. Fancy burgers, fancy pizzas and fancy fried chicken.

Sure, there were other things (kicking myself for not ordering the basil potstickers) but we ordered the most yummy sounding things that were guaranteed to come with fries or at least contain 95% carbs.

The Burger and Fried Chicken sandwich were quite tasty (and the fries were amazing) but that Black Truffle Three Cheese Pizza is a MUST ORDER.

Definitely the best truffle pizza I’ve ever had, the flavor will knock your socks off! But because no one wants your dirty socks flying everywhere, let’s change that to blow your mind. Which I guess connotes a splattering of brains, but that’s far more appealing at mealtime than someone’s socks.

Ok, where were we?

215 Chrystie St
New York, NY 10002
at Stanton St
Lower East Side
(212) 735-6000
publichotels.com

I have no recollection what this cocktail was. Sorry.

Fried Chicken Sandwich – $18

Black Truffle and Three Cheese Pizza, Farm Egg – $22

CHEESEBURGER, FRIZZLED ONIONS HOUSE-MADE PICKLES, FRENCH FRIES – $22

Pimento Cheese
$8
Deviled Eggs
pickled chilis

Motel Morris is a bustling new eatery located on a street in Chelsea featuring some deeply average and uninspired restaurants. They must hate this place!

I loved everything we ordered.

The cocktails are served in those infuriating vintage cocktail glasses that would appear small even in a doll’s drunk hand. But they’re boozy and pack a punch, so do not disregard them. But they also have sparkling rose on tap, so that’s a fun alternative.

We started out with the Pimento Deviled Eggs, which are on the sour side because of the pickled peppers. I loved the sourness but my dining companion did not. But he’s dumb.

I ordered the Everything Bagel Crusted Tuna, which is on the lighter side but very tasty. It comes with an enormous grilled hunk of avocado, which should prevent anyone around you from whispering that you’re on some sort of restrictive diet. After all, there are so many aspects of your physical appearance they’ll already be whispering about.

The Chicken Fried Buttermilk Pork Chop is a very nice sized hunk of meat and it comes with these fun fried shoestring sweet potatoes and some amazing vinegary collard greens. I actually think I enjoyed the greens more than the chop! Who am I??

We ended with the delicious sounding and tasting Butterscotch Pudding Pie and my lord! If you don’t order this, I’ll join in on the poking fun of your physical appearance that everyone else in the restaurant is currently engaged in.

132 7th Ave
New York, NY 10011
b/t 18th St & 17th St
Chelsea
(646) 880-4810
motelmorris.com

(Front)
THE HANKY PANKY 15
woody creek gin, dolin rouge, fernet branca
(Back)
SMOKE AND MIRRORS 15
rough rider rye, mezcal, cappelletti,
byrrh quinquina

Chicken Fried Buttermilk Pork Chop
$25
black eyed peas, vinegary collards, shoe string
sweet potato

Everything “Bagel” Crusted Tuna
$27
grilled avocado, buttered scallion basmati,
mint cilantro pesto

Butterscotch Banana
$10
Pudding Pie
butter brittle, graham cracker,
whipped cream

Complimentary Salt Water Taffy

The River Café is a slightly snooty Michelin starred restaurant located right under the Brooklyn Bridge.

The best part of the experience are the views but the food was also really, really good. Worth being made to wear a jacket like a kid being forced to go to church.

River Café does a 3 course dinner for $130 and a 6 course Chef’s Signature Tasting Menu for $160. Seems like it would be worth it to pay the additional $30 bucks for the extra grub.

But we were obviously idiots, so we opted out and I’ll probably regret it til my dying day. Or at least the end of this sentence.

The Wagyu steak tartare was perfection and I don’t generally care for the stuff! You really must order it unless you’re some kind of filthy vegetarian.

My Halibut was also delicious, so order that too. Actually, don’t, because nobody likes a copy cat!

Their signature dessert is that chocolate Brooklyn Bridge situation (see below) and while it was decent, people are really just ordering it so they can throw it on the ole IG.

That’s Instagram, mom.

1 Water St
Brooklyn, NY 11201
b/t Brooklyn Brg & W Cadman Plz
DUMBO
Phone number (718) 522-5200
rivercafe.com

Amuse Bouche

Manhattan in Brooklyn!

Foie Gras Duet
classic pressed terrine of La Belle Farms,
parfait with Hudson Valley Farm, cider, walnut and warm brioche

Wagyu Steak Tartare
hand cut Kobe style beef mixed with quail egg,
Cognac gelée, traditional garnish, toast points

Waguy Steak Tartare – all mixed up

Halibut

Lamb
Colorado rack of lamb, braised lamb breast and Swiss chard cannelloni,
Sicilian pistachio and arugula pesto, whipped ricotta

Key Lime Soufflé
meringue, graham cracker ice cream

Chocolate Brooklyn Bridge
milk chocolate Marquise, raspberry sorbet,
vanilla ice cream, crisp meringue,
dark chocolate glaze

Calle Fresca
$13.00
cazadores blanco, mango, cucumber, ancho salt rim

I hate to admit it but I really like this local chain Mexican restaurant. Sadly, I believe it serves some of NYC’s best Mexican food. So very, very sad.

What really sets Dos Caminos apart (at least the Meatpacking location) is their fantastic outdoor seating. Sure, the wait time could be over an hour but a good margarita and a not disgusting taco are totally worth the wait.

With margs these good, it would be totally understandable if their food slightly sucked. But it does not! Sure, it’s not Mexico good. It’s not even LA good. But it certainly is East Coast good.

It’s pricy, mind you. You’re just going to have to get over that part.

Please don’t make me explain again how things just cost more in Manhattan. I know you respect me much more than that.

675 Hudson St
New York, NY 10014
b/t 13th St & 14 St
Meatpacking District, West Village
(212) 699-2400
doscaminos.com

Satur Farms Mexico City Street Corn
on or off the cob
$8

Complimentary Beans and Rice

Red Snapper* de la Calle**
$13.00
lime marinade, serrano chiles, tomato, green olives, cilantro

Carnitas
$18.00
slow-roasted Mangalista pork, green chile salsa, pickled red onion

Night at the Whitney Museum