Let’s face it. Indian food looks like Poop on a Plate.

Slop in a Pot.

Unless you go to a super upscale joint, where they make it look all pretty, it usually is not photogenic.

Dhaba is a solid, and popular choice amongst the plethora of Indian restaurants in the Curry Hill section of Midtown. It’s lively, on the upscale side and the food did not disappoint.

Definitely recommend the Murgh Chutneywala (Creamy Mango Chicken Curry) and the Purani Delhi Ki Papri Chaat (cold dish with crunchy things mixed with yogurt and chutney – weird sounding (and looking) but SO good).

I didn’t bother putting captions on any of my photos, because I honestly can not tell the difference between some of the dishes we ordered.

Also, when you order the side of Roti (sort of like Indian tortillas, much lighter than Naan) make sure you do NOT accidentally request 5 ORDERS of Roti when you meant to order 5 PIECES. They brought us out about 20 pieces of Roti, which they should have known was wrong but they probably wanted a good laugh.

108 Lexington Ave
New York, NY 10016
b/t 27th St & 28th St
Flatiron
(212) 679-1284
dhabanyc.com

Looks scary – tastes delicious

ABC Cocina (and it’s sister restaurant, ABC Kitchen) are both still highly popular after being opened for many years (I have no clue how many and I refuse to look it up. That’s your job!).

However, both feature decors that seem to be stuck in the 90’s. The odd purple lighting reminds me of a trendy gym trying to look like a night club. Super tiny lights everywhere, the kind you see in those upscale ceramics stores that you never go into because why would you?

And it’s all quite overpriced.

However, the empanadas and ham and cheese croquettes were so tasty!!

The shaved Brussels sprouts salad was sort of a let down. just a thin layer of food and a rip off for the money.

The Crispy Fish sandwich was good…but it was missing some kind of kick. Not sure I dug the olive tapenade combo.

If you really want to hit up one of the ABC restaurants, I would suggest ABC Kitchen. Better food and the possibility for a celebrity sighting is much higher.

38 E 19th St
New York, NY 10003
b/t Broadway & S Park Ave
Flatiron
(212) 677-2233
abccocinanyc.com

mezcal lavender negroni – $16
ilegal reposado, vermut

Rosemary and Lime Cooler – $7

gooey spicy ham and cheese fritters 12

shaved brussels sprouts salad, shepherd’s basket cheese, marcona almonds 15

Complimentary Table Bread

spiced ground beef and celery root empanadas with tomato salsa 12

crispy fish sandwich, black olive tartar sauce, chilies, arugula 22

Pina Kale-Ada

Dirt Candy has been around forever and it’s still hard to get a damn table there.

And after living in NYC for three years now, I finally decided to go see what all the fuss is about. I mean, how delicious can a bunch of vegetables be?

Very. Is the simple answer.

I had recently seen a shot on Instagram (sorry, I meant IG for all you millenials who left IG for SnapChat years ago) of the Brussels sprouts tacos and I knew I had to have them.

I mean, how ridiculous. Instead of meat, you’re giving me a handful of Brussels sprouts and charging me $36 for the lot. We’re both assholes at this point, but there was no wavering on the ordering of this dish. It was going to happen.

Upon first glance of the menu, chock filled with words like “KALE” and “CARROT” and “RUTABAGA” splashed about as if this were the flier featuring the artists lineup at Coachella.

I mean, how good could “CARROT” possibly be?? I knew they wouldn’t have been evil enough to present me with a plain, single carrot on fine china. But still. Come on.

And what do you know? CARROT ended up being our favorite dish! After the insane Korean Fried Broccoli (just what it sounds like, covered in a sticky garlic sesame sauce. Order this or die), that is.

CARROT ended up being 3 carrot sliders (yes, thick cooked slices of carrots) with a special sauce on carrot sesame seed buns. Yes, the buns had incorporated carrots. Ingenious.

The Brussels sprouts tacos ended up being super tasty and fun, with over a half dozen little ramekins of fun things to make your own lettuce tacos (Atkins alert!). The Sprouts came out on a sizzling stone, which makes you just want to touch it because you know you shouldn’t. Hint: don’t.

We also ordered this fun Rutabega cake who’s picture did not turn out.

You also must order the caramelized onion chocolate tart. Trust me on this. It works and it’s fantastic!

Two things we were not impressed with: The vegetable monkey bread (bland) and the Pumpkin pad Thai (pretty looking boat of some unimpressive raw veggies and not a ton of flavor).

I can’t speak to the cocktails but I wasn’t really impressed with my Pina Kale-ada. It was fun. Maybe just stick to the wine and pretty much order anything on the menu and you’ll be set.

86 Allen St
New York, NY 10002
Lower East Side
(212) 228-7732
dirtcandynyc.com

Vegetable Monkey Bread – $4

Korean Fried Broccoli $8
BASICALLY IT’S CRACK IN BROCCOLI FORM

PUMPKIN $18
Pumpkin Pad Thai

Carrot $13
Carrot Sliders on Carrot Buns

Brussels Sprout Tacos $30
BRUSSELS SPROUTS ON A SIZZLING STONE WITH LETTUCE WRAPPERS AND ACCOMPANIMENTS

Onion Chocolate Tart $13
Smoked Almond Ice Cream

Pig Beach is a buzz worthy BBQ place right next to the toxic Gowanus Canal that is worth risking radiation poisoning to eat at.

Well, sort of.

The burger has been splashed all over Instagram for far too long. I had to check it out.

While it was super tasty, it was also super tiny. But it’s not expensive and you’ll probably order some other food, so don’t freak out that you’ll leave hungry.

If you do, that’s on you. Order the amazing ribs as a started and just shut up already.

Pulled Pork Sandwich
$8.00

Baby Back Ribs
championship red sauce & sticky honey glaze
$17.00 $32.00

Pig Beach Burger
house pickles, white american & secret sauce on a martins bun
Single- $8
Double- $11
Triple- $14
Make it a “Briggie”- add pulled pork- +$2

FIVE BORO COCKTAIL
Plantation 3 Stars, Amargo-Vallet,
Yellow Chartreuse, orgeat syrup,
lemon juice – $17

Augustine is a new FiDi eatery from the folks that brought you the timeless Balthazar and Minetta Tavern. You simply can’t go wrong with any of their restaurants.

They’re all gorgeous, the food is mostly upscale French or Italian and you will not leave without dropping at least $100 a person. Sorry, that’s just the facts.

Unlike the other places I mentioned above, we didn’t really encounter a stand out dish with the exception of the cheese soufflé. That was delicious but a little overpriced at $19 bucks.

I had read complaints about the burger on Yelp so we ordered the Beet Tartine and Duck Confit Salads. While both were good, neither were dishes worth a return visit for.

The space is lovely and the cocktails were potent, but our waiter was truly bizarre. Not sure which combo of meds he was on, but he seemed off in his own world and wasn’t very attentive. I wonder if this lack of attention branched out into his personal life? I fear that his apartment might be a bit of a danger zone of bacteria and magazine hoarding.

But hopefully I’ll never find that out….

5 Beekman St
New York, NY 10038
b/t Nassau St & Theatre Aly
Financial District
(212) 375-0010
augustineny.com

Complimentary Bread Basket

COGNAC NOISETTE
P.F. 1840, Galliano Ristretto, Frangelico, orange juice,
espresso, whipped cream.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17

SOUFFLÉ AU FROMAGE
with cave-aged Gruyère, Parmesan
and horseradish fondue.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19

DUCK CONFIT SALAD
carnival squash, Madeira-braised
chestnuts, roasted heirloom apples,
frisée salad, hard-cider vinaigrette.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

Nutella Madeleine – $2.5

Pig and Khao is a guaranteed good time.

The Filipino/Thai fusion food is wonderful, the drinks are tasty and strong and the vibe is youthful and bustling.

Probably not the best place to bring grandma, although there was a table in the corner filled with four quite aged individuals, and they seemed to be having a good time. How ageist of me!!?

We ordered the Khao Soi noodles, which are wonderful. Creamy red curry, egg noodles, chicken and some crispy fried noodles on top. No complaints.

The ribs were meaty, tender and packed with flavor. A nice sized portion for sure. The minty slaw that comes with it is a spectacular way to balance out the flavors.

We started with the Mantao Buns, which are like unsweetened donut holes. Really tasty.

We were given a complimentary order of the Green Papaya Salad, which was a nice strong punch of lime and fish sauce. The addition of the charred chicken was much appreciated.

I would go back to Pig & Khao in a heartbeat. While I am not very adventurous when it comes to traditional Filipino dishes, I truly enjoyed their Thai inspired very much.

68 Clinton St
New York, NY 10002
b/t Stanton St & Rivington St
Lower East Side
(347) 704-2398
pigandkhao.com

Mantao Buns – $3

FRONT:
Ginpo
gin, grapefruit, cinnamon, prosecco
REAR:
Lower East Side
rye, vermouth, cynar, habanero bitters

Green Papaya Salad – $14
charred chicken, green papaya, crispy taro, peanuts, herbs, fish sauce, lime juice

Khao Soi – $16
red curry, coconut milk, chicken, egg noodles, pickled mustard greens, red onions

BBQ Baby Back Ribs – $26
p&k BBQ sauce, asian slaw

Seabird’s claim to fame is that enormous Crispy Fish Sandwich I had seen splashed all over Instagram.

The sandwich was, indeed, enormous. The fish was cooked perfectly, the breading was crunchy and wonderful. What was missing was the promised tarter sauce, it was just too scant of an amount to taste. And the fish portion is so large that most bites contain no sauce/flavors but fried fish. Granted, it was still quite tasty, but a side of tarter or some kind of signature sauce would have been nice to have come alongside it.

Sure, I could have asked for some…but I’m far too passive aggressive for that. I’d rather sigh loudly and look around the table in exaggerated motions, as if I’m searching for my missing container of tarter sauce “Well, it must be around here somewhere! No?….oh….no, that’s ok…..I’m fine”

And commence negative blog post!

The fries were wonderful and my dining companion said his bacon and corn Clam Chowder was some of the best he’s had.

And at $17, the bottomless mimosa situation is quite the deal. The wait staff does not ignore you so you are only able to enjoy 1.25 mimosas, he checked in quite often. This could be good or bad depending on your situation with alcohol.

361 6th Ave
New York, NY 10014
West Village
(212) 414-9500
seabirdny.com

Bottomless Mimosas – $17

Grilled Octopus – $19
Artichoke, Salsa Verde & Olive Tapenade

New England Clam Chowder – $14
Corn, Bacon

Crispy Fish Burger – $18
Cod, Malt Vinegar Slaw, Tomato, Tartar Sauce

Amy Ruth’s chicken and waffles are legendary. Truly delicious and worth the imminent health risks.

We got in line around Noon on a Sunday, gave our names to the guy walking down the line with a notepad and were seated about an hour later. If you don’t see a guy with a notepad, it is recommended to go inside and FIND THAT NOTEPAD.

It’s a long wait when you’re starving and it’s freezing outside but the food was SO WORTH IT.

Except the corn bread. The cornbread was pretty terrible. Save your appetite for literally anything else.

The sides we tried were all excellent and portions were large. The potato salad tasted like homemade, and not that awful vinegary grocery store shit.

The mac and cheese was wonderful. Even though I still like the bottom of the barrel when it comes to M & C, this also was made with a lot of love.

I paid the $1 extra for white meat chicken and boy was it worth it. Moist meat and delicious crispy skin, and the waffle was thick and tasty. Definitely not trashy eggo waffles.

I’m sure if you eat at an earlier hour, you won’t have to wait as long. But even if you do have to wait, I’m sure there is an hour’s worth of pointless Facebook posts you can catch up on.

113 W 116th St
New York, NY 10026
b/t 7th Ave & St Nicholas Ave
Harlem
(212) 280-8779
amyruths.com

The wait for a table on Sunday at around noon was a solid hour.

Complimentary Cornbread

The President Barack Obama – $16.95 (with Mac and Cheese and Collard Greens).

The Nate Robinson – $19.95 – BBQ Pork Spare Ribs with Potato Salad and Cheese Grits

The Rev. Al Sharpton – $14.95 (Chicken and Waffle)

fried chicken sandwich
red cabbage, chili aioli, cilantro
$18

Order anything on the menu at Blenheim and you won’t go wrong.

Except the Fried Chicken Sandwich.

You’ll read the description on the menu and be sucked in. “That sounds delicious!” you’ll shout (hopefully to someone you’re dining with and not some stranger at the table next to you).

Then, you’ll order said sandwich and be so disappointed.

“Where’s the chicken??” you’ll shout again (by now the stranger next to you has requested to move to another table at the opposite end of the restaurant).

Well, maybe I just got a lemon but my sandwich contained nearly no chicken. Perhaps, two very small chicken nuggets worth.

The sad part is, the sandwich had some awesome flavors going on! If there was some actual chicken inside, it would have been awesome.

Everyone else’s meals were delicious. No complaints. I hate them. Hate them all.

283 W 12th St
New York, NY 10014
b/t 4th St & 8th Ave
West Village
(212) 243-7073
blenheimhill.com

baked ham & cheese
gruyère, blenheim ham, fried egg
$16

eggs benedict
hollandaise, country ham, english muffin
$16

egg sandwich
bacon, cheddar, mixed greens
$15

Curry Udon – $16

When Tsurotontan first opened, there were crazy lines to get in.

And since I am a sheep when it comes to hot new restaurants, I knew I had to go. A little misery always makes food taste better!

But since I’m also a bit lazy, I didn’t show up for a few months later, when we were able to slide right in for lunch.

Like with any Japanese eatery, if there is chicken Karaage on the menu, I’m gettin’ it. And this was no exception.

The chicken came with a nice pink sauce (Was it beet? Was it blood?) and overall it was impressive and not too fatty, which can sometimes be the case with those mini fried chicken lovelies.

I don’t usually go nuts over Udon. Udon is Ramen, if you removed all the flavor and then replaced the usually delicious noodles with thick rubber bands.

No thanks.

But the thick, rich curry flavored broth that accompanied our chewy, slightly rubber band noodles was just heaven! We ordered the large size and we could have taken a bath inside the bowl that came out.

Highly recommended!

21 E 16th St
New York, NY 10003
b/t W Union Sq & 5th Ave
Union Square, Flatiron
(212) 989-1000
tsurutontan.com

Spicy Tuna Tartare Cone – $12

Tatsuta Fried Chicken – $11

Tsuruton Curry Delux – $23 w/ Shrimp Tempura, Pork Cutlet & beef short plate