Pete’s Tavern is the “Oldest Original Bar in New York City – Opened 1864” according to the gold sign posted on the wall on your way to the toilet. I feel like this claim is made by at least 5 NYC Bars, but let’s just assume Pete’s is telling the truth.

Regardless, this place looks and smells OLD. I love it.

The veal meatball hero is animal suffering at it’s tastiest. I only order veal about once a year and always feel terribly guilty about doing so. Yet, I still order it. It’s just so…tasty (and cheap, only $9.50!)

The sandwiches all come with a small plate of both uninspired potato salad and bland cole slaw. Truly forgettable. thank goodness it’s not extra.

The veggie burger looked a bit frightening but I’m told it was delicious.

The salmon entrée is probably the last thing I would order but I did notice the plate was sufficiently cleared, so I’m assuming it wasn’t revolting.

Pete’s is great for an after work drink (as long as you don’t mind a crowd) but I love it for lunch when there’s nobody around. Quiet, peaceful, cheap and old.

Funny how I appreciate the same traits in a restaurant as I do in my grandma.

129 E 18th St
New York, NY 10003
b/t Irving Pl & 3rd Ave
Union Square, Gramercy, Flatiron
(212) 473-7676
petestavern.com

Grilled Salmon with Lentils

Veggie Burger with Goat Cheese

Veal Meatball Hero

Mission Cantina has some really spotty reviews on Yelp. Every time I felt like going, I would visit their Yelp page and change my mind.

I had originally wanted to brunch at the STK rooftop but my sunny day turned grey and sprinkly, so I had to think on my feet. Where to go, last minute??

Having not much time to think or plan, I nearly literally pulled Mission Cantina out of my ass.

I knew immediately I wanted to try their new Green Chili (or is it Chile?) burger with melty mozzarella and feta. It did NOT disappoint. I loved that the green chilies were fermented and I loved the cheese crispy stuck to the bun. A truly fantastic burger.

The Crab Rangoon was just ok. I mean, it was fried, so it was better than ok. But not much crab going on. And not much blackberry in the blackberry dipping sauce.

“Ah, eventually you do plan on having dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right?”

The Fried Chicken burrito was overpriced and also just ok. I mean, I’ll eat even bad Mexican food and this, by no means, was bad. It was just ok. No burrito should cost $20 with tax. Also, the whole “fried” aspect gets lost inside a burrito, where the chicken coating was sog central. I should have gone with the Chinese burrito so I could have probably been disappointed an entirely different way.

The burrito also came with the world’s worst “tortilla chips”. Someone fried a corn tortilla a week ago, then rediscovered it in the back of the fridge, licked it completely to remove every ounce of salt and then broke it up into tasteless shards next to our burrito. An empty space would have been far more appreciated than what we were presented with.

The margaritas were tasty and strong, which I DID appreciate.

The servers were friendly enough but also quite aloof. They were both dressed in their hang out clothes and their demeanor and interest in serving customers expediently perfectly matched their ‘Video game marathon in parent’s basement’ outfits.

172 Orchard St
New York, NY 10002
b/t Houston St & Stanton St
Lower East Side
(212) 254-2233
missioncantinany.com

Crab Rangoon – $7

Fried Chicken Burrito – $18

Green Chili Cheese Burger – $18
Fermented Green Chili peppers, mozzarella & feta

I had wanted something really awesome to move into this spot. Before, it had been a really shitty Italian restaurant. I think they barely had 2 stars on Yelp.

Upscale Mexican is what we got. I come from LA, I know my Mexican food. However, I don’t poo poo upscale Mexican like some folks do. I like cheap ass tacos as well as $29 Jidori chicken enchiladas. There’s room in my stomach for both.

Yet, I was still apprehensive. If you’re paying a lot of money for food that you know you can make at home for $1.50, it had better be good. Which is why people get upset at places like this. Often times, the food is just ok and they wish they had gone to the Taco Bell and just ordered a few margs.

Guacamole is a dish that has been getting exponentially expensive lately. This used to be a $4 appetizer. Now, they charge you $18 and try to justify the cost by making it in front of you, at your table.

No! Make it in the back, and charge me half! I don’t care if you haven’t washed your hands or maybe dropped something weird in it. I will never be fine dropping that kind of cash on smushed avocados.

Which is why we didn’t order guacamole. We ordered drinks and apps. The best items to order at an upscale Mexican restaurant. Nothing over $15 and no one leaves angry.

I LOVED the corn on the cob and the Lupillas (the croquettes). Definitely worth the money. In fact, I want them both right now.

The Aguachile de Callos was a nice scallop version of ceviche and you really get a decent amount of food when you order the Huarache Chido, a Mexican flatbread. The Serrano ham was a bit hard to chew threw and very salty but that’s not Temerario’s fault. That’s just the nature of Serrano ham. The bastard.

The drinks were superb. They weren’t cheap but they certainly packed a punch.

I would definitely come back (considering I live exactly one block away) but I do love that finally our hood has a hip, bustling place to get a margarita that isn’t frozen or filled with hangover inducing plastic bottle tequila.

198 8th Ave
New York, NY 10011
b/t 21st St & 20th St
Chelsea
(212) 645-2100
temerarionyc.com

Aguachile de Callos – Bay scallops, jalapeno, mescal lime jus, cucumber, burnt chiles – $14

Lupillas – Longaniza and Manchego Croquettes, manzano cream – $10

Elote – Grilled Corn on the cob, Lime mayo, Chile de arbol – $7

Huarache Chido – Grilled Corn huarache, potato chorizo hash, arugula, Serrano ham, salsa – $13

Dudley’s as a charming little brunch spot in the LES that makes a really fantastic burger on ciabatta bread.

The seating is limited, so you’ll probably have to wait. But the food was really good. Totally worth it.

If you come here, you have two options. You either order that damn burger (or I’ll punch you in the face) or the Chicken Schnitzel salad. The chicken is coated in the best breading and comes with a chili mustard sauce.

In fact, bring a friend and order both things and share them. Do it. Don’t make me say what I’ll do to you, if you don’t (spoiler alert: I’ll punch you in the face).

Ok, I have no clue what has made me so violent today. I was a little behind on writing my blogs and this is the 15th one today. I think I’m done.

Sorry to take it out on you, Dudley’s! And you, the readers at home, you know I was totally kidding about punching you in the face, right?

85 Orchard St
New York, NY 10002
b/t Broome St & Grand St
Lower East Side
(212) 925-7355
dudleysnyc.com

Iced Cappucino

Chicken Schnitzel Salad – Bibb Lettuce, Poached Egg & Chili Mustard Sauce – $13

Bronte Burger – Seasoned Beef Patty, Sweet Chili Sauce, Mayo & Cheese on Ciabatta – $12

You’ll really want to come to Freeman’s. The folks at Freeman’s, won’t really reciprocate those feelings.

We arrived at 12:15 pm for brunch on a Saturday. I get it, it’s a stressful time for a restaurant employee in New York City. But you’re supposed to keep those feeling to yourself.

We were told of an hour and fifteen minute wait. Fine, we waited at a bar across the street. They don’t call or text, so we just had to come back over around when we assumed they would call our names.

When the chick finally called my name (pretty much true to her original guestimate of a little over an hour later) I was greeted by a very irritated young lady. She was not in a good mood. I’m sure it was something I did, but I’ll admit to having people-pleasing issues.

Because the inside of Freeman’s is so gosh darn rustic and charming (lots of dead things on the walls), I quickly brushed off her ‘tude and allowed Her Crankiness to seat us.

We enjoyed champagne cocktails and the eclectic décor while we decided what we would eat. Our waitress started out pleasant enough.

Then something changed.

She soon developed the same rash or cyst that the hostess had, and her mood transformed to sullen and aloof. She was clearly over us. What had we done? Had I said something similar to what I must have said to the hostess to piss her off?

Ok, the place is charming, did I mention that. Freeman’s has a colonial farmhouse run by Stevie Nicks during her witchier days. It’s really pretty cool. Cool enough to forget about the Irritable Duo.

And the food was great! One of us scarfed down the burger so quickly, I wasn’t able to sneak my obligatory bite. I was quite perturbed.

My breakfast biscuit sandwich was missing cheese but the biscuit and bacon were both heavenly. Maybe the Universe was trying to save me some unnecessary cholesterol.

The baked Shakshuka egg situation wasn’t very Shakshuka-y. But it was certainly delicious!

Would I come back?

Yes!

The food is great, the place is quirky and fun and let’s be honest. I enjoy winning difficult people over.

191 Chrystie St
Ste 2F
New York, NY 10002
b/t Delancey St & Rivington St
Lower East Side
(212) 420-0012
freemansrestaurant.com

Smoked Trout
hard-boiled egg, horseradish cream, buttered sourdough toast – $17

Buttermilk Biscuit Sandwich
bacon, fried egg, & cheddar cheese, with hash brown – $13

Baked Skillet Eggs Shakshuka
spinach, feta cheese, tomato-bell pepper sauce, buttered sourdough toast – $14

Freemans Piedmontese Cheeseburger
lettuce, pickles, secret sauce, french fries – $17

The Ear Inn is old. And cranky. The Ear Inn is your old, cranky grandpa who smells like tobacco. Or maybe it’s your grandma, she smoked too, right? Didn’t everyone back then?

Back then being the late 1700’s, when the historic James Brown house was built. That’s the house the Ear Inn is currently located (they took over in the 1970’s).

They serve stiff drinks and Irish inspired fare (ever meal comes with a pointless side salad, whether you want one or not) and they have live music on certain nights.

They have a no cell phone policy, but they really mean no talking on the phone. Then again, since everyone texts these days, only your mom still actually talks on the phone. Maybe don’t bring her here. Or teach her how to text. Actually, that sounds too exhausting. Just don’t bring mom here.

The corned beef hash was tasty but the Irish Stew was really delicious! The meat was tender and well seasoned and I loved the gravy.

The bartender seemed cranky but it seemed befitting of the historic place. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

326 Spring St
New York, NY 10013
b/t Washington St & Greenwich St
South Village
(212) 226-9060
earinn.com

Irish Stew

Corned Beef Hash with poached eggs

The NY Fire Museum!

More of the Museum!

Restaurants located inside hotels are tricky, when it comes to brunch.

They want to cater to locals, who know what it really means to brunch. It means, to booze. Which means lots of cash in the restaurant’s pocket. Locals are well aware of that restaurants in New York City will gladly assault their wallets, and they’ve accepted it.

However, hotel restaurants also have to please their guests.

Tourists from other parts of the country and world aren’t familiar with the idea of brunch. They’ve heard of it; they’ve seen Sex and the City. But they don’t live it. Brunch is a state of mind.

Visitors from small towns want breakfast. They want scrambled eggs and coffee at 8 am. Not mimosas and chicken liver on toast at noon.

Europeans want cappuccino and pastry. They’re not pigs, like us.

Neither group is willing to drop $100 on brunch. They’ve got a full day of racing to the tippy tops of every skyscraper in the city and need to save their shekels for that big ass pastrami sandwich they’re going to get at Katz Deli later.

So, when locals come to a place like Dirty French for brunch, they’re met with quiet tourists who “haven’t had their java yet” and waiters who look at you like you’re a homeless person when you ask for a bloody mary.

We arrived at 10:50 am. 10 Minutes before “Brunch” was officially to be served.

I took on look at the menu and my heart dropped. I study every menu in advance. Breakfast was NOT what I wanted.

I wanted BRUNCH!

Meaning, I wanted the lamb burger and not $18 eggs. I will spend lots of dolla bills ya’ll on burgers and things that are complex or annoying to make. But I hate spending that kind of money on .50 cents worth of eggs.

The burger was perfect. Simple, juicy, well seasoned and not gamey at all. Those of you who are frightened of lamb burgers, this is for you!

The French Dip was also perfection. Crusty French bread (not the soggy, white tasteless loaves you get at a diner) plenty of tender slices of rare beef and a nice horseradish sauce. Heaven.

We were given a little platter of complimentary pastries, which were a nice start. At first, I began to gloat. “Oh, they must have recognized me. This happens all the time. So embarrassing.”

But then I saw another table being served the same pastries! So insulting. If I handed out stars in my reviews, I would remove one for that move.

Just like with every hotel restaurant, prices are about $3 bucks more than they should be. Like going to a McDonalds in the airport and spending $6 on a Big Mac. But you have no choice.

Ludlow Hotel
180 Ludlow St
New York, NY 10002
Lower East Side
(212) 254-3000
dirtyfrench.com

Complimentary Pastries

Dip 0
DRY-AGED BEEF, SHALLOTS, AU JUS – $23

Burger –
LAMB, BUCHERON, CUMIN, ONIONS – $21

Mr Potato Head – Béchamel, mozzarella, rosemary, roasted potato, chives, shallots, prosciutto – $25

Pizzeteria Brunetti gets some damn good Yelp reviews. Does anyone not like it? Oh. Well, it looks like someone recently said something disparaging about the staff but the more I read his comment, the less I understand it. I already don’t trust him.

PB is a super casual, neighborhoody pizza upscale pizza joint that is bustling, inviting and serves some amazing pizza and meatballs. I actually can’t decide which I liked better.

The place is pricey. Our specialty pizza was $25 but it was on the rich side, so it (and the meatballs) were plenty for two peeps. The pizza was so flavorful with the rosemary, béchamel, prosciutto and shallots. For those who don’t like onions, they are definitely present.

The meatballs were also quite substantial for their somewhat inflated $15 price. Two large balls, a huge dollop of ricotta and a pretty basil leaf. It’s as pretty as it was delicious.

If you’ve got some cash to drop but don’t want to spend it on a stuffy attitude or pretentious small plates, then this is your joint.

626 Hudson St
New York, NY 10014
b/t Jane St & Horatio St
West Village
(212) 255-5699
pizzetteriabrunetti.com

Mary’s Meatballs – $15

Fried Chicken Sandwich – $10 (add pimento cheese – $1)

Bobwhite is a simple but somewhat trendy fried chicken counter (with a new location in the West Village) that serves a really superb fried chicken sammy.

When I come to a fried chicken establishment, I always choose a sandwich over just the chicken on it’s own. Is it too messy to eat? I’m not sure what my deal is. Maybe because I just like sandwiches, ok buddy!

Regardless, Bobwhite does Chicken right, in whichever form you decide to consume it.

The sandwich features lots of pickles and the option to add pimento cheese spread (which is NOT optional, if you have any semblance of intelligence) on a simple brioche bun. I’m currently bored with brioche but I ain’t mad at this one.

The Mac and Cheese is also a must order. I won’t waste my words in describing it. You can just look at the pic and decide if that’s your kind of mac and cheese. If it’s not, please click away from this page immediately. I’m sure there’s some p*rn you’d rather be looking at.

The biscuit was sort of a combo of traditiona biscuit and dinner roll. I didn’t love it. Did I still eat the entire thing? Yessir!

I decided on BobWhite as my reward for the NYC Half Marathon I had just completed a few hours earlier. It was a worthy reward for my accomplishment. How I managed to not end up dead last is beyond me. I think images of my fried chicken future must have been dancing in my head. Must more inspiring than any dumb old sugar plums.

Sorry, it’s not Christmas, so I’m sure that made zero sense.

94 Ave C
New York, NY 10009
East Village, Alphabet City
(212) 228-2972
bobwhitecounter.com

Macaroni and Cheese – $5.50

Collard Greens – $5

Fried Chicken Supper – $11.50 w/ cole slaw and biscuit

And another shot with my NYC Half Marathon medal just because.

La Masseria is in the Theater District (basically Times Square).

So, if you live in NYC, you’ll never come here.

However, if you’re visiting our fare city, you’ll definitely come here! So, when you do, take a gander at what you’ll be eating!

Whatever you do, order that fried zucchini appetizer! Maybe even one order per person, since you’re on vacay and not counting calories.

La Masseria is traditional Italian. No twists, no fusions, no mashups. Just all the things you think you would find on an Italian menu. It’s all delicious, folks. Don’t be turned off by the fact that nothing is served inside an enormous Mac and Cheese ball or freeze dried, turned into liquid air or whatever the cool kids are doing with their food lately.

235 W 48th St
New York, NY 10036
b/t Broadway & 8th Ave
Theater District, Midtown West
(212) 582-2111
lamasserianyc.com

Signature Martini

Complimentary Bread & Lentils

INSALATA RICCIA – $13.50
Friseé salad with parmesan cheese & crispy bacon

Fried Zucchini

GNOCCHI ALLA SORRENTINA – 418.50
Home made potatoes gnocchi with tomato sauce, basil and fresh mozzarella

TRANCIO DI SALMONE ALLA GRIGLIA – $25
Grilled salmon fillet with grilled zucchini & mustard sauce