Le Petit Parisien is an impossibly cute (read: tiny) French sandwich shop in the East Village that you really need to check out.

Perfect baguettes, high quality meats and French cheeses. Very authentic, probably. I’ve never been to France but I imagine this being what is served by every French bistro. As well as every McDonalds.

These sandwiches are awesome. Well, the one I had was.

In honor of the pettiness of this restaurant, I shall make this blog short and sweet as well.

Bonjour!

32 E 7th St
New York, NY 10003
b/t Taras Shevchenko Pl & 2nd Ave
East Village
(917) 262-0406
lepetitparisien.com

Marie-Antoinette – $11
16-month cured ham (or bresaola +1.50), fresh goat cheese, extra virgin olive oil, honey

Custom Egg & Cheese on Biscuit with Maple Sausage – $11

Egg Shop is a very popular egg-centric eatery in Little Italy that I highly recommend if you’re craving simple but high quality hangover cuisine.

Their biscuits are a must, so create your own breakfast sandwich and choose that as your bread. In fact, order the exact sandwich I did (see below. I’ll wait) and you’ll be happy. Their maple sausage patty is wonderful.

The eggs benedict bowl was less decadent but certainly a worthy order if you’re feeling more shameful about your food choice. No one can see what you’ve got hidden in your bowl. In could be hot quinoa and fruit, for all they know.

They don’t have to know what kind of fat F you really are. Only I know that. And I’ll never tell.

151 Elizabeth St
New York, NY 10012
b/t Kenmare St & Broome St
Little Italy, Nolita
(646) 666-0810
eggshopnyc.com

Hash Browns – $4

BENEDICT $12
POACHED EGGS, BLACK FOREST BACON, ENGLISH MUFFIN CROUTON (GF),
MEYER LEMON CITRONETTE

Elizabeth Street Gallery

Elizabeth Street Gallery

Lunch counters are a thing of the past, in most cities.

Back when no one had kitchens in their tiny apartments, people would grab most of their meals at these little dives. It was another time. I would imagine. I’m not that old.

Now, thanks to the Food Network, everyone’s a chef. Just like everyone’s a photographer, thanks to Instagram. Even in NYC, people are cooking 4 course meals in their tiny cracker box tenements. Trust me, I’ve done it.

Breakfast, however, is another matter.

I stopped into the Johny’s Luncheonette one morning because I had seen pictures of their Curious George breakfast sandwich online.

I sat at the counter of this tiny bodega like joint, ordered my sandwich and had it placed in front of me in about 2 minutes.

As I sat there, I witnessed the guy at the cashier know the name of almost every single person that entered. I felt like I was eating in a small town diner. It was kind of surreal.

Everyone in the neighborhood was coming to get their breakfast at Johny’s. It was really nice to see.

Bodegas can be found on every corner in the city. But lunch counters, they’re a different breed. Johny’s doesn’t sell potato chips and toilet paper. It’s a straight up lunch counter.

Order, eat and scram in less than 15 minutes.

The old guy who took my order (was it Johny? If so, I should ask him what happened to the other “N” in his name) and everyone was really friendly. Not smiley friendly. Like, real friendly. NYC friendly.

The sandwich is on a hero sized bread, nothing fancy or artisan. The sandwich also had fried eggs, cheese, ham, bacon and French fries.

It may sound a little kooky but it was delicious. And the fries were basically hash browns, so relax.

It was a hearty start to a work day, so next time I might just try one of their BEC on a roll. That’s the official breakfast of NYC. Bacon, egg and cheese on a soft, round, nutritionally devoid roll. It’s cheap and delicious.

Just like Johny’s.

124 W 25th St
New York, NY 10001
b/t 7th Ave & Avenue Of The Americas
Chelsea
(212) 243-6230
johnysluncheonette.com

The place is cleaner than you’d expect!

The Curious George Breakfast sandwich – around $8 bucks after tax

If you want a really good time and feel like pigging the F out, walk, don’t run to Queens Comfort.

As you might have guessed from the title of the restaurant, Queens Comfort is located in Queens. So, maybe make sure that’s ok with you.

I haven’t been to Queens too many times, but I think I can safely say that Queens Comfort is the most popular restaurant in maybe all of the city.

As you walk up, you’ll see a long line of peeps waiting outside. Avatar, the doorman and keeper of the line, will occasionally call out instructions on how things work. He’s the tour guide for the meal you will eventually enjoy.

A helpful hint: Come early. You’ll put your name on Avatar’s list. Every day will be a new question. You’ll answer that question and your answer will be what he calls out when your table is ready.

Today’s question was what cartoon character is you spirit animal and we all decided on Scrooge McDuck. We were told the wait would be about 45 minutes, so we wandered around the neighborhood until the name of that lovable, cantankerous old duck was called out.

45 minutes was the wait after we had arrived very shortly after they had opened. I don’t even want to think about how long it would be if you showed up at 11 am….

Someone came out with a huge tray of maple tabasco waffle fries to feed us while we waited. Cool move, man. I dig.

The place is BYOB, which is both fun and cost effective. Bring your champagne, and buy a pitcher of orange juice from your waiter (don’t bring your own) and a fun and frivolity will naturally ensue.

A DJ will spin loud tunes while you hurriedly order the insane donut of the day, before they run out.

QC is known for their delicious, coffee-cake like donuts that are all the rage on Instagram. Definitely order one.

The rest of the menu reminds me of what a stoned teenager might come up with if but then made sure to put professionals in charge of the actual preparation. Many of the dishes might seem cray, but everything we ordered was delicious.

Their benedicts are a wise order choice as was the Pig Mac, a fried pork tenderloin sandwich. While, we ate the McRuffin and enjoyed it, I don’t know if I would recommend that over the other things we ate.

40-09 30th Ave
Astoria, NY 11103
Astoria
(718) 728-2350
queenscomfort.com

“Avatar” the doorman – Instructs the awaiting masses of the rules of how to get seated!

Maple Tabasco Waffle Fries – Passed out to feed the starving folks waiting in line.

A DJ spins while you pig out.

BYOChampagne!

The Velvet Elvis Donut – Chocolate Chip Banana Cake, Peanut Butter Glaze, Bacon Crumb – $4.50

“The Pig Mac” – Fried Pork Tenderloin, Pickles, Onions, Sriracha Aioli – $12

Egg McRuffin – Bechamel, Cheddar, Smoked Bacon, Fried Egg, English Muffin, Tots 14

“Down by Law” Benedict – Roasted Chicken, Bacon Jam, Poached Eggs, Hollandaise, Buttermilk Biscuit, Chipotle Aioli 16

Mary’s Walk of Shame – Bloody Mary topped with Grilled Cheese, Maple Bacon, Pastrami, Sausage & Pickles – $15

Bespoke is a cute, neighborhoody spot in the West Village that serves an over the top Bloody Mary that you simply must try.

Well, you don’t have to. But you should. Unless you hate things like meat and cheese. And if that’s the case, go find a good lawn to gnaw on, ya damn hippy.

The biscuit bites were my favorite thing here. But the croissant French toast came in as a close second.

The bacon sampler didn’t wow me like I thought it might. Many of the pieces seemed burned. But we had enough food already, maybe the chef was saving us from ourselves?

The owner was really nice and gave us that sampler for free, so I guess I shouldn’t complain. But where’s the fun in that??

615 12nd hudson St
New York, NY 10014
West Village
(212) 989-3155
thebespokekitchen.com

Bespoke Bloody – $12

Bacon Tasting – Braised Maple Bacon, Molasses Bacon, Lamb Bacon & Turkey Bacon – $15

Biscuit Bites – Crispy Chicken and Gravy – $12

House Made Pastrami Hash – $16

Braised Short Rib Sandwich – $17

The Croast – Croissant French Toast – $15

Seamore’s is an impressive seafood restaurant in Little Italy if you’re in the hood and looking for something besides one of the 198 cheesy Italian eateries that are surrounding you.

No obnoxious host(ess) will yell at you to come inside and try their new lunch specials (which are the same as their old lunch specials). So, if you’re fine with that, Seamore’s is the place for you.

The poke was light and refreshing. Order it as your entrée, if you’re a model or something. But share with friends (or maybe with the table next to you, if you think anyone seated there is attractive) and order the fish tacos.

They’re really great. Not the best I’ve ever had. But really great, like I just said. Don’t make me say it again.

The fisherman’s stew is good if you’re feeling more adventurous and like digging for clams. I don’t eat shellfish, so I have no clue what this stew tasted like. I was told it was “Good”, so that’s as profound as you’re getting, folks.

390 Broome St
New York, NY 10013
b/t Mulberry St & Centre Market Pl
Little Italy, Nolita
(212) 730-6005
seamores.com

Poke – Ponzu, peanut, avocado – $16

Spicy Fisherman’s Stew – Squid, kimchi, rice cakes – $16

Crispy Dogfish Tacos – $15

Studio Kraut is a new colorful German-ish brunch spot that recently opened on 8th Avenue, in Chelsea.

If you want bottomless mimosas, delicious but heart-attack inducing fare in a really noisy setting, Studio Kraut is for you.

I had heard about the deep fried cheesecake stuffed waffles on Instagram. Where one hears about everything important, obviously.

These waffles were out of this world. There is no denying it. However, committing to an entire plate of this monstrosity isn’t something I could ever recommend. You will have a sugar crash and it will be an epic one. Especially if you’re pounding mimosas simultaneously. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The Chicken Schnitzel was also quite tasty and a very large portion. Come hungry, for sure.

We started with the baked brie appetizer, which was unnecessary, considering the amount of food that we had coming. If we had only known, we would not have ordered it.

The only real deterrence from coming back is the noise level. The music was pumping but the echoing of our fellow boozy brunchers was a bit too much. Maybe ask to sit outside. Or don’t come at all. What do I care what you do?

Just kidding. I DO care. I care deeply. Remind me what your name was, again?

160 8th Avenue
New York, NY 10011
b/t 18th St & 17th St
Chelsea
(646) 449-8150
studiokrautnyc.com

CAST IRON BAKED BRIE
cinnamon spiced pecan brittle,
french brie, peppercorn crostini
$12.75

HAUS BURGER
smoked gouda, shaved pickles,
horseradish aioli, kaiser roll – $16.95

CHICKEN SCHNITZEL
fried egg, peppercorn potatoes,
haricot verts, dill cream sauce – $21.25

BOHEMIAN WAFFLES
STUFFED AND BATTERED –
LINGONBERRY CHEESECAKE
berry reduction, graham cracker
crumbs, vermont maple syrup – $14.25

The driving force for me coming to Freud was that delicious looking Onion Tarte I had seen splashed about Instagram.

I say delicious “looking” because I never got to actually try one.

When I arrived on this pleasant Sunday evening, my Onion Tarte had vanished. Gone. Just like one of Liam Neeson’s poor “Taken” daughters.

It had been replaced by a squid flatbread. Now, I do believe that most people enjoy squid. I, myself, do not.

What if the kidnappers has replaced Liam Neeson’s daughter with a squid flatbread??

Just placed it on her childhood bed, as if Liam wouldn’t notice the difference. Do you think that would make it all better?

No, it would not. Liam would seek revenge.

But he would also probably eat the flatbread.

I drowned my sorrows in the absolutely fantastic Freud Burger. My perfect burger has but a few flavors going on. Meat, cheese and caramelized onions. A special sauce is also welcomed. Maybe a few pickles. I need nothing else in my dream burger. No quickly wilting lettuce or pointless tomato. I was greatly pleased by this burger.

The fries didn’t look like much but they were also quite nice. I ate every morsel.

Another nice surprise was the Whipped Liptauer appetizer.

“What the hell is whipped liptauer??” I demanded of our waitress. Minus the “hell” and minus the tone of demand.

It is an Austrian cream cheese and Freud serves it with slivers of celery and beets. It arrived with a tasty selection of table bread atop we could spread this very tasty spread. It totally reminded me of a bagel shop’s vegetable flavored cream cheese.

The cocktails were nice, the raspberry and rum Dream Day was my favorite. They’re $14 a pop, which is common for nicer restaurants but can really add up.

The prices here are not outrageous but try not to think of this place in the same vein as some rowdy German beer hall. It’s a polite, upscale Austrian restaurant and dinner and drinks will at least set you back around $60 per person.

Plus, Austria and Germany are two different countries dummy, so maybe it’s time to take a cultural awareness course or something.

506 Laguardia Pl
New York, NY 10012
b/t Houston St & Bleecker St
Greenwich Village
(212) 777-0327
http://www.freudnyc.com/

Taboo – Rye, Carpano Anitca, Maple, Walnut, Orange Bitters – $14

Deja Raconte – Peach-Rooibos Infused Bourbon, Lemon, Orange Bitters – $14

Catharsis – Aviation Gin, Suze, Dolin Blanc – $14

Dream Day – Rum, Raspberries, Chocolate Bitters, Mint, Lemon – $14

Whipped Liptauer – $8

Freud Burger – Farmhouse Cheddar, Onion Jam, Potato Bun – $21

Pork Schnitzel – Cucumber Salad, Cranberry, Yukon Gold Potato Salad – $23

Rubirosa is my absolute favorite pizza joint in Manhattan.

It’s got that pizza parlor vibe, with a slightly upscale Nolita spin. It’s homey and friendly-ish and very New York.

I order the same thing every time. Half Vodka and half arugula parmesan balsamic. The perfect combo.

I have absolutely zero complaints.

So, I won’t spoil it with any more pointless words.

235 Mulberry St
New York, NY 10012
b/t Spring St & Prince St
Nolita
(212) 965-0500
rubirosanyc.com

1/2 Vodka Sauce / 1/2 Arugula, Parmesan, Balsamic & Onion – $26

Mr. Donahue’s is a cute (read: two little tables and 5 bar stools) and trendy eatery located in a neighborhood with cute and trendy eateries.

The difference between those places and Mr. Donahues? Well, this place is new.

I arrived about 6 pm on a Wednesday night. My friend was running late, so I enjoyed a glass of wine at the bar (beer and wine only) in the meantime. I heard the chick tell a few other folks coming in that they only sat complete parties, so I should be thankful she sat my ass down.

The servers were both very friendly, the place has a 70’s basement, wood-paneled vibe and is filled with cute tchotchke’s, including a hanging monkey. This lil guy kept me company while I waited for my friend.

The food situation is a mix of familiar, comfort foods (Swedish Meatballs) and some really creative sides (I tried the White Gazpacho with grapes, pistachios and rose) and I quite enjoyed them both.

While I had no complaints with the Swedish meatballs, I found the squash parmesan to be my favorite dish of the night.

While there weren’t a lot of folks coming in while I was there, I still wouldn’t risk coming on a Friday or weekend if you’re not in the mood for a wait. With only 9 seats available in such a trendy neighborhood, best come with a backup plan, just in case.

203 Mott St
New York, NY 10012
b/t Kenmare St & Spring St
Nolita
(646) 850-9480
mrdonahues.com

Chilled White Gazpacho – Cucumber, Grapes, Pistachio, Rose & Mint

Pattypan Squash Parm

Swedish American Meatballs – $16 (comes with two sides)