Most likely, you already know about this place. It opened to much fanfare. Any foodie worth his artisan sea salt knows about the Momofuku empire. They run this town like the mafia.

We were fortunate enough to snag a table at this new Italian/Korean joint on opening night. But this was no easy feat. I got in line an hour after everyone else did: 5 pm. They weren’t slated to open until 6 pm, which is about the time I made my way to the front of the line to put my name on the list.

I was told it would be two more hours until we were to be seated.

It ended up being just 1.5 more, but as I live around the corner, we just went home and chilled til we received our beloved text notification.

Time to eat, b*tches!

We scurried back to the restaurant and got seated immediately. Blonde wood and minimalist décor aplenty, per the usual.

Tipping is not allowed, so the prices are a bit higher to reflect this. We ended up shelling out about $75 per person, this includes two entrees, one app, one dessert and two cocktails each.

Ok, so I’m not going to spend the next hour describing every dish in detail. You can go on Yelp and get that 411. So, here’s an eloquent summary for you: the food was really good.

The highlight was certainly the Spicy Beef Sichuan pasta and the hangar steak. The panna cotta was a bit sour, I should have ordered the pistachio pound cake everyone else around me was chowing down on.

The Limoncello slushie and the Blood Orange Daiquiri were both very tasty. Order those. Or order something else, what do I care?

Unfortunately, the lines have consistently remained quite lengthy, so this place will not fall into the category of “Casual Neighborhood Hangout” But definitely worth taking a fellow foodie who doesn’t balk at the thought of a 3 hour wait before dinner.

232 8th Avenue
New York, NY 10011
b/t 21st St & 22nd St
Chelsea
(646) 518-1919
nishi.momofuku.com

The line just to put your name down and hope to actually get seated the before closing.

Limoncello Slushi – $14

Blood Orange Daiquiri – $14

Fried Fingerling & Smoked Yolk & Tarragon – $10

Spicy Beef Sichuan Noodles – $25

Hanger Steak – $35

Panna Cotta & Plum Vinegar – $10

The more I think about Tasco Chino, the less I care for it.

The menu looked so delicious. The place is attractive and spacious. The servers are friendly. The food?…..everything tasted a little funky.

The genre is Spanish Chinese. Chinese tapas. From the Yelp pics of the Chicken Chorizo dumplings I saw online, I figured the flavor would be out of this world. I couldn’t even taste the chorizo, but I didn notice an odd gristly texture.

The Carne Coca (short rib flatbread) had this odd, sort of curry flavor to it. It was fine, but kind of flavorless, except for an odd yellow hue (which I’m assuming is some sort of curry essence). I almost wish they would have bumped up the curry element, to give it some flavor.

My friend ordered the Eggplant and Tetilla Cheese Montadito, which was an open faced eggplant sandwich. She said not one positive or negative word about this dish, whilst eating it. I guess that says something.

I didn’t try the Edamame dumplings but they were cute and my friend DID enjoy those.

However, not sure that’s reason enough to come here. On top of that, everything is a little pricey. And the $25 pre fix lunch deal isn’t exactly a bargain. Our server kept mentioning it, which was sort of annoying.

Sometimes you walk into an empty restaurant and discover a goldmine. And sometimes, there’s a good reason the joint is empty.

245 Park Ave S
New York, NY 10003
b/t 19th St & 20th St
Gramercy, Flatiron
(212) 335-2220
tascachino.com

TerraCotta Dumplings – Edamame, Sweet Pea & Mint

TerraCotta Dumplings – Chicken and Chorizo

EGGPLANT & TETILLA CHEESE MONTADITO
soft cow milk cheese, open-faced ciabatta, patatas bravas

CARNE COCA (Flatbread)
short ribs, caramelized onion, manchego, baby arugula

I’m going to keep this short and sweet. I didn’t care for this place. The food was all just meh. So meh, that I won’t even bore you with any more words, except three:

Don’t Come Here.

You’re welcome.

15 Greenwich Av
New York, NY 10014
West Village
(212) 488-9888
niunoodleny.com

Fried Chicken Dumplings

Fried Pork Buns – $6

Niu Beef Trifecta Soup (Flank Steak, Short Ribs, Beef Shank) – $14

Curry Char Sui Pork Soup – $13

Cadillac Margarita

La Palapa is a solid choice for festive Mexican food with a slight chain-restaurant feel, safe enough to bring your most racist family member. Your waitress will be as white as snow and the food will have a familiar sheen to it.

Sometimes you don’t want crazy authentic Mexican. Sometimes you just want at a nice, clean, generic table setting and an enormous hot ass plate (“Don’t touch! Too hot.) filled with something, anything covered in cheese. I’m talking neon Cheddar, not this Cotija crap.

Ok, I could be off base. La Palapa could be authentic. I really don’t care to look at the website and check.

The one bad thing I could say about this place is the shocking lack of the one guaranteed provision at any Mexican restaurant. No chips and salsa!

Well, they did give us these three servings of some kind of homemade salsas but then never brought any damn chips. I looked around. No one had any chips! What was this madness??

I decided to order the mole enchiladas. Except, I didn’t want mole enchiladas. I wanted enchiladas Suizas. What the hell is that? It’s probably the least authentic “Mexican” dish known to man and I love it.

Problem is, La Palapa doesn’t serve Enchiladas Suizas.

Well, they didn’t bring me my mole. They messed up and brought me something better. Green chili enchiladas. Not exactly Suizas, but they covered it in queso fresco (like sour cream) so it pretty much was everything I was in the mood for. Yay!

The dish didn’t need any salsa or sauce, but by God, I made sure to use up our complimentary sauces anyway. I just can’t say no to free shit!

The Tequila Steak was very nicely seasoned. But a little chewy. However, I find pretty much any steak chewy. Except my fav, Salisbury. The Steak of Kings. Or whatever.

Chain restaurant Mexican food is always about $5 more than your more authentic fare, and La Palapa is no exception. Yet, my meal was delicious and filling, so they can gladly take my $5 bucks. And go buy me a freaking bag of tortilla chips. They can share it with everyone in the restaurant, my treat! I just want my generous handful. It’s my right!

77 St. Marks Pl
New York, NY 10003
b/t 1st Ave & 2nd Ave
East Village
(212) 777-2537
lapalapa.com

Café de Olla – Coffee with Orange Peel, Cinnamon – $3

Various Salsas and Sauces – BUT NO CHIPS!!

ENCHILADAS DE POLLO VERDES chicken enchiladas in tomatillo salsa verde
housemade queso fresco, mexican crema, sweet maya onion 16.

ARRACHERA AL TEQUILA CON JALAPEÑOS TORREADOS grilled skirt steak
marinated in lime and tequila, char grilled onions and jalapeños, green rice, pinto beans 22.

Come for the fried chicken and pleasant ambiance. Stay because your server is taking FOREVER to bring you your check.

Yes, the fried chicken is really good. It comes with blistered shishito peppers and a nice, tangy dipping sauce.

Yes, the service is really slow. So, you may be there a while. Bring someone with whom you wish to spend a little time with. This isn’t a good spot to break up with someone at.

The burger was nice, but nothing special. The waffle fries were not even remotely hot. This, however, that did not stop us from devouring them as if they were covered in several layers of gooey cheese.

The Chester is one of many brunch/dinner spots in the Meatpacking where you can get your people-watching on.

And because the server was so damn slow, we had more time to people watch. Silver Lining Alert!

18 9th Ave
New York, NY 10014
b/t 13th St & Little W 12th St
Meatpacking District, West Village
(646) 253-2284
thechesternyc.com

The Cobblestone
$15
tanqueray, mint cucumber, rhubarb bitters

Four-Grain Salad
$16
quinoa, farro, barley, wild rice, roasted red beets, arugula, mustard-citrus vinaigrette

The Burger
$18
hanger steak, pimento cheese, miso-russian dressing, housemade bun, steak fries

Fried Chicken
$20
sweet tea brine, blistered shishitos, thai dressing

7th Avenue, in the West Village is full of fun looking restaurants and bars. Many of these places serve food. I suppose this is necessary, but sometimes ordering said food is not advised.

Agave is a great place for drinks. Come for margs, a few snacks (such as those tasty empanaditas) but don’t come here to gorge.

I ordered the Mexican Shepherd’s Pie. This ended up being Mac and Cheese with some carnitas chili coating the bottom of the bowl. It wasn’t bad, just too rich. Not a good mix with booze. But maybe that’s on me, I could have easily ordered something lighter.

We also ordered the Enchiladas Mariscos, which was an equally rich dish. Ok, we were both clearly out of our minds.

Agave is a fun place to get your Marg on. They serve food because they have to. And you’ll order it because you think you should. But don’t. Just come here for some good margs and some great people watching (make sure you sit outside) and don’t give yourself any reason to be disappointed.

Your life is full of enough disappointments (yours in particular).

140 7th Ave S
New York, NY 10014
b/t 10th St & Charles St
West Village
(212) 989-2100
agaveny.com

Acapulco Spice
House made jalapeno infused tequila, cointreau, fresh lime juice & jalapenos

I forget what the hell this was….
House made jalapeno infused tequila, cointreau, fresh lime juice & jalapenos

Chicken Tinga Empanaditas
With queso oaxaca, salsa ranchera, & roasted poblano crema

Enchilada Mariscos
Gulf shrimp, lump crab,sauteed cabbage,queso cotija,salsa verde

Mexican Shepherd’s Pie – Mac and Cheese with Chili on the bottom

Tavern on the Green is one of NYC’s most beloved restaurants. Well-reviewed on Yelp….not so much.

According to one diner in particular, it was a “totally gross, totally sad experience…”

That being said, I thought all the food we ordered was quite tasty. Which is one notch below “delicious”, FYI.

I’ve also been for brunch and the food was also good. I think it’s just a crapshoot. If you look up the Yelp reviews for even the best restaurants in town, there’s always some joker that hates it. “They brought my food TOO quickly! I had barely finished my avocado toast. Never coming back!”

TOTG has undergone some ownership over the past year or so, but I won’t bore you with the details (the details of which, I have no clue)

So. Go for the ambiance and keen Central Park location and don’t have high expectations for the cuisine.

I have fond memories of my dinner with T.S. as we played in the park and made snow angels, after most of the park visitors had long gone.

Back in the day, hanging out in Central Park after dark would be pretty ill-advised. Images of robberies and rape float in one’s mind.

But it’s not like that anymore! It’s well-lit and just beautiful. If Kevin McCallister were to get lost in the park these days, he would have nothing to fear! Except maybe getting ripped off by a Pedi-Cab driver with his $4 a minute rates.

At least it’s a more pleasant kind of robbery.

Central Park West & W 67th St
New York, NY 10023
(212) 877-8684
tavernonthegreen.com

Being a person who has suffered from hot flashes his entire life, I have crafted a world around a constant breeze.

At home, a fan is always on. Usually, inches from my face, as I sleep. Bell’s Palsy be damned!

At work, I have a tiny desk fan also directed at my person, providing a sense of calm in a world of ledgers and spreadsheets.

What I can’t control is the outside world. I can’t bring a fan with me wherever I go (Why not??). When I’m in a store or restaurant or waiting for the subway, I’m at the mercy of a cruel, windless environment.

There are only a small number of NYC subway stations featuring any modicum of moving air. The existing ceiling fans are supremely filthy, yet I have no issues directing my eager face upwards, ready to inhale any and all mysterious black debris that dislodges from the fan’s protective cover.

I don’t care what type of substances make their way into my mouth. As long as there’s a breeze on my face.

No matter where I go, it will never be cold enough. While that 90 pound chick shivering in her winter parka next to me, I fan myself desperately with a menu and subtly wipe away boob sweat.

Luckily, tonight I dined with my dear author friend MC, who I can always rely on to be as equally enrobed in constant sweat and/or always suffering from “the vapors”.

Sometimes it’s the strangest things that bonds people together.

Sometimes, it’s just sweat.

Oh, what about the food?????

Here’s a quick summary: We loved everything!! Especially that amazing chicken.

Ok, The End.

38 8th Ave
New York, NY 10014
b/t Jane St & West 12th St
West Village
(212) 366-6633
dellanima.com

AVOCADO Bruschette – lemon, aleppo pepper – $5

Summer Squash Panzanella

Spaghetti with…..(I forget) but it’s yummy.

POLLO AL DIAVOLO broccoli rabe, chilies 26

Fried Chicken Sandwich – $8

Delaney Chicken is one of many eateries inside of the new Gourmet Food Hall, Urban Space Vanderbilt.

US Vanderbilt is essentially a duplicate of the also new Gansevoort Market, in the Meatpacking neighborhood. They both feature a dozen or so food stands, each so equally tempting that you won’t be able to decide where the hell to eat.

Just like Gotham West and the Plaza Food Hall, US Vanderbilt is outlined with food options and the center are communal picnic tables, where you’ll be forced to squeeze in next to complete strangers. Not one of my favorite things in life.

What you need to order at Delaney is simple. The Fried Chicken Sandwich. It’s pretty much perfect. Perfect because it’s not fancy. No artisan bun, no farm to table slaw (although, I’m a slaw on fried chix sammie fan). The bun is simple, soft and offers zero nutritional value. As it should be!

The only thing besides the chicken is a few pickles, mayo and some hot sauce. Nothing else needed.

What sets the chicken aside is the coating. It’s not just crispy, it’s crunchy. It’s AWESOME. I can’t compare it to any other chicken sandwich out there. It has a Chinese vibe to it, reminds me of the coating of sweet and sour pork. Just fried within an inch of it’s life, but not burned.

I’ve read about the insane crowds, so try to come here during off hours. Or just save yourself some stress (and having to actually interact with annoying humans) and get that shit to-go.

230 Park Ave
New York, NY 10169
Midtown East
(718) 701-8909
delaneychicken.com

Every eatery is as tempting as the next.

Urban Space Vanderbilt – a new food hall near/around Grand Central Station

Someone on Yelp complained their sandwich was raw inside. Mine, thankfully, was not.

Roman Pasta Tasting Menu – $49

Lupa is Mario Batali’s more casual version of his crazy-hard-to-get-into Babbo. I think I prefer Lupa, actually. Sometimes you just prefer a sure thing.

We decided to splurge and go for the pasta tasting menu. Carb loading for the marathon we weren’t running. If we didn’t consume 5000 calories each, we did something wrong.

For $49, the Roman Pasta Tasting is a steal. 5 different pastas and the perfect sweet ending, sorbetto (not entirely sure how that differs from sorbet). Not only were the serving sizes satisfying, we were able to take enough pasta home for a substantial second meal.

It was a tad embarrassing to instruct the waiter five separate times that we wanted the rest to-go, but the food did eventually add up. “Box up these 1.5 raviolis for me, good sir!”

I think the Saltimboca ravioli was my favorite, the contents really packed a punch. Often times, ravioli is less about what it’s filled with and more about the sauce poured over it, but not in this case.

The carbonara was also fantastic. The noodles were all perfectly cooked, not too al dente, which sometimes can be the case at pasta-centric eateries.

Lupa is the perfect spot for a high end Italian feel and decadent meaL without spending half your paycheck. Maybe only 1/4 of a paycheck? Sometimes even a sure thing is still gonna cost you.

170 Thompson St
New York, NY 10012
b/t Houston St & Bleecker St
Greenwich Village
(212) 982-5089
luparestaurant.com

Complimentary foccaccia

Tonnarelli Cacio e Pepe

Tonnarelli Cacio e Pepe

Spaghetti alla Carbonara

Saltimboca Ravioli

Pajata Finta

Bucatini All’Amatriciana