Today, I attended a birthday brunch for a new friend at the David Burke Kitchen, in Soho.

Being of the last weekends of the summer, we all desperately wanted to be seated outside. The space inside was large and dark, more suited for dinner. Outside was far more “brunchy”.

Apparently, one of our party used to date the chef. This could mean one of two things (one of them could be very bad). Thankfully, their breakup was amicable, so it resulted in free food!

Free food, especially at an expensive restaurant, is always appreciated.

First, we were sent over two large “boards”. One was “Prosciutto and Melon” and one was the “Maine Lobster Toast”.

I personally don’t care for the combo of melon and prosciutto but everyone sure chowed down the lobster and little buttered brioche toasts.

Then we were sent over these BBQ Chicken Dumplings. The combo of dumpling and bbq sauce was odd but tasty. Still, not sure I would order these again. the bottoms of the dumplings were a bit on the soggy side, and kind of fell apart.

Many folks at the table ordered the ricotta pancakes. While they were beautiful, they were definitely very, thick and a bit on the heavy side. They were still tasty but be REALLY hungry if you order these.

The eggs benedict looked awesome and the French toast also was gorgeously displayed. Like a little work of art. The portion was on the smaller side, so maybe order this if you’re not as hungry or to share with someone.

My Kitchen Burger was fantastic. Definitely one of my top 10 NYC burgers. Perfectly cooked, nice and juicy, lots of flavor but still able to pick it up with my hands and easily shove in my mouth. It’s a rare thing to be able to pick up and actually bite into a gourmet burger without unhinging one’s jaw.

Hat’s off for that burger!

The meal was finished by a bevy of desserts, including the quite nice brownie sundae and the quite dramatic Cheesecake Pop Trees! Yes, cheesecake really does grow on trees. At least, it does at David Burke Kitchen.

23 Grand St
New York, NY 10013
b/t Thompson St & Avenue Of The Americas
South Village
(212) 201-9119
davidburkekitchen.com

Carafe of Sangria

GOFFLE ROAD CHICKEN DUMPLINGS
12
jack cheese, schmaltz, cowboy barbeque, tomato jam

MAINE LOBSTER TOAST
18/29
celery seed aioli, toasted brioche, endive

PROSCIUTTO & MELON
19
cantaloupe, honeydew, saffron, white balsamic vinaigrette

CLASSIC EGGS BENEDICT
16
chorizo, garlicky spinach, hollandaise

VANILLA BEAN FRENCH TOAST
16
strawberry, rhubarb, peanut butter mousse, caramelized bananas

MAPLE BACON – $10

KITCHEN BURGER
19
grass fed angus beef, aged cheddar, bacon, bread & butter pickles, challah bun, hand-cut fries, special sauce

RICOTTA PANCAKES
15
maple bourbon blueberries, whipped vermont butter

HOT FUDGE BROWNIE SUNDAE
12
caramelia chantilly, garden mint chip ice cream

Cheesecake Pop Trees – $18 each

When someone asks me where to go for that old school, NYC Pizzeria vibe, I always suggest the same two places.

John’s in the West Village and Lombardi’s in Nolita (north of Little Italy).

There’s something to be said about a place that smells like it “took a bath” in pizza. When a restaurant is too new, too clean, you don’t get that pizza parlor smell. That smell is vital. It’s half of the experience!

However, the opposite is true with sushi restaurants.

Lombardi’s, opened in 1905, is credited with being the first pizzeria in the USA.

While I think I might like the actual pizza at John’s just a smidgen more, the ambiance at Lombardi’s is a bit nicer. John’s is more divey, punk rock and Lombardi’s is more like old grandpa. Both are great, depending what you’re in the mood for.

Here’s what you need to order at Lombardi’s. Sasuage, Mushrooms and Ricotta. There is no finer trifecta. Ricotta on pizza needs to be obligatory, it’s just heavenly.

32 Spring St
New York, NY 10012
b/t Mulberry St & Mott St
Nolita
(212) 941-7994
firstpizza.com

Sausage, mushroom and ricotta pizza

Ok, I know it seems I only eat in the West Village.

Two reasons.

1.) They’re all so cute!

2.) They’re all so close by (I’m lazy).

Whenever I go strolling through the village, I’m assaulted with café after café, each looking more desirable than the next.

I want to go them all. I’m like whatshername from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. “I want the world, I want the whole world!”

I want to try every restaurant in the world. Is that so wrong?

Olio offers a nice selection of pizzas (cooked in a wood fire oven) so, the three of us each ordered our own pie.

The pizzas are on the chewier side, not very crispy. The crust features some nice char and definitely has a nice earthy flavor. The toppings are plentiful and the sauce is minimal. You will not walk away hungry. You will walk away with an extreme case of PB (pizza belly) and you will hate yourself even more, once the pizza expands. Just deal with it.

Definitely try to come here in the summer. Olio e Piú is another classic spot for outdoor dining and people watching. Which have become almost an addiction of mine. An addiction, for which, I refuse to seek treatment.

3 Greenwich Ave
New York, NY 10011
b/t 10th St & Christopher St
Phone number (212) 243-6546
olionyc.com

Last rosé of the summer – $12 = Chateu Montaud 2013 (Provence)

I forget what this was, but it was like a blueberry cosmo. And delicious!

Boscaiola – $19
mozzarella / Italian sausage / gorgonzola / mushrooms / basil

Capricciosa – $18
mozzarella / mushrooms / artichokes / ham / olives

Mezzaluna – $20
soppressata / ricotta / half cherry tomatoes / smoked mozzarella

A Beautiful Fried Artichoke

Morandi is a solid Italian option in the West Village for pretty much any occasion. I’ve been for brunch and it’s great, and I’ve also been for dinner (spoiler: it’s also great).

Salmon is one of those dishes that can turn out to be so dreadfully dull and too fishy, simultaneously. I mostly order it to get my Omega-3’s in. Not cuz I find it super yummy.

But I did love tonight’s salmon. I loved the presence of vinegar, which cut the fatty richness of the fish nicely. I ate every bite, Omega’s be damned!

The fried artichokes were nice but a bit on the greasy side, like the little suckers took a leisurely swim in some lukewarm oil and got drenched in the stuff. I still recommend ordering, however.

The interior is spacious but cozy, warm with brick walls, antique tile floors and simple wooden tables and chairs. Definitely suited for date night or anyone who you wish to believe you are spending a FORTUNE on their meal.

Prices are average for the area, don’t bring a $20 and expect that will cover your meal, unless you’re not drinking and having one pasta dish and are a really bad tipper. Only in that case would a $20 cover you.

This ain’t the olive garden. When you’re here, you pay up. You’re not family, no free rides, moochers.

211 Waverly Pl
New York, NY 10014
b/t Charles St & 10th St
West Village
(212) 627-7575
morandiny.com

I have no clue what this was or how much it costs, sorry.

Complimentary Table Bread

Carciofi alla giudea
fried artichokes with lemon. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

Asparagus – $8

Orata alla griglia
grilled whole sea bream with lemon-oregano oil . . . . . . . . . . 29

Corzetti al pesto
hand stamped pasta with basil, pinenuts & parmesan . . . . . . . 18

Salmone con le fave e menta
slow roasted salmon with yellow beans, favas & spring onions . . . . 28

The Fraunces Tavern, touted as being Manhattan’s oldest surviving building, was built in 1719 as the Queen’s Head pub and has seen a lot of history (including events occurring during the American Revolution) in it’s days.

That being said, the building endured a few fires back in the mid 1800’s, and had to be rebuilt a few times, so most of what exists today isn’t more than a 100 or so years old. And probably not exactly in the same original design.

Fraunces has a few bars in addition to a small museum upstairs (we didn’t check that out because I prefer doing things that cost zero dollars) but tonight, we just ate dinner in the main dining room.

The menu is pretty diverse but does offer some colonial fare, including the very tasty chicken pot pie I ordered.

The main dining room is dark and warm and definitely keeps with a colonial vibe, featuring old-fashioned wooden communal tables and church pews as well as a picture of who I assume is George Washington? I think everyone looked like that guy, back then.

54 Pearl St
New York, NY 10004
at Coenties Slip
Financial District
(212) 968-1776
frauncestavern.com

I have no clue what these were. Or if they were even any good.

Slow Roasted Chicken Pot Pie – $20
potatoes, mushrooms & peas {may contain bones}

Malatesta is another impossibly cute West Village café. I’m finding there seems to be an unending supply of them. And I kind of want to try them all.

Definitely one of the better outdoor dining and people watching venues around, this quaint Italian café is very affordable (but bring your cash, they don’t take cards).

I was able to enjoy a hearty portion of fantastic spinach gnocchi and only left a $20 bill upon my departure (I only drank water).

Being that most of their pastas are handmade, I would say come here if you’re in the mood to carb load. I didn’t notice anyone around me ordering the meat dishes, so I have no clue if they’re any good.

There’s nothing wrong with being known for great, affordable pasta. I wish more restaurants realized their niche and didn’t try to do too many things right.\

We enjoyed the special of the night, the mushroom ravioli but enjoyed the gnocchi much more.

Basically, come here only if you want Spinach Gnocchi. Otherwise, NYC offers about 127,654 other dining options to choose from.

649 Washington St
New York, NY 10014
b/t 10th St & Christopher St
West Village
Phone number (212) 741-1207
malatestatrattoria.com

Definitely one of NYC’s best people watching…

CASH ONLY!

Wild Mushroom Ravioli

Spinach Gnocchi with gorgonzola sauce

I had two goals at this year’s NYC Wine and Food Fest. To meet Giada and to meet Martha.

As you can see, both goals were adequately accomplished.

As fun as these events are, with their ample tastings of delicious foods and ample booze at every turn, you’re not paying all this money just for a noisy, crowded buffet.

You’re paying to meet celebs. Let’s be honest.

When I went up to say hello to her at the “Giada’s Italian Feast” event, I was absolutely shocked by the behavior of the mob surrounding her.

At first, I didn’t even know what was happening. I see this enormous crowd stampede over to a table. Free food? No. All the food here is free.

Everyone had their phones out, mesmerized by who I could only assume was The Pope, as this person’s ever move was being videotaped.

Was Giada about to levitate??

Judging by the multitude of elbow jabs in my side, she was! And these people were going to sell their videos to the tabloids, for millions! Right? Only that reason could explain everyone’s fervor.

As I inched further up the “line” to see Giada, I noticed that random chef’s would sporadically hand her personal sized pizzas to nosh on. As she takes a bite of a slice, I blurt out “Now, don’t spit that out!” and instantly regret it. There had recently been an article out, detailing the secret of her keeping thing while filming a cooking show. Spitting out the food she tries.

Giada shot me a look that was both “I hate you so much, plebe” and “I’m not kidding but I’m going to add a faux-angry element to my hateful glare so I don’t make things too weird for the both of us”.

This was kind on her part.

Asking a celebrity for a picture is just so bizarre. I hate giving anyone the vibe that they might be more interesting or special than me. Why would I want a picture with a person I do not know? It makes me feel like one of the commonfolk begging for an audience with the queen.

Well, at the second event I attended, I had no problem with that notion. Martha Stewart is a queen and there is no denying it.

MS hosted a Rose brunch, located inside of a restaurant I had never heard about in lower Manhattan.

I show up to the event about 30 minutes late to due to several subway debacles, and realize I have missed all the appetizers.

As I walk into the room and gaze upon her holiness, all that missed free food sadness fades away. I’m in the same room as Martha Stewart. Sorry, what I meant to say was, I’m in the same room as Martha Stewart, bitches. Ok, there. That’s better.

There were probably only 100 people at this event, a fraction of the attendees for Giada’s Italian Feast.

I sit down and the gals at my table tell me they’ve already taken a picture with her. What?? Ok, that becomes my sole mission in life.

I no longer care that I’m sweating bullets. I no longer care that I’ve missed vital crostinis and crudités.

I need to get my ugly mug photographed next to Martha’s beautiful one.

As I walk up, I realize I’m uncontrollably shaking. Hmm, how to make this stop?…. Well, I don’t stop shaking. Instead, I merely pretend it’s not happening.

I walk up to Martha “Is it too late for a picture?”

“No, absolutely not” she says and I hand my phone to some lady who then states “You’re shaking!” and then my face turns the color of some nearby Rose.

“Well…um….it’s Martha! I’ve wanted to meet her for…..” I mumble some other stupid words and the picture is taken.

But the experience is far from over!

First of all, I brazenly put my hand on her waist. What I think is her waste. I realize, my hand is essentially groping her upper buttocks. I have no liquid courage inside of me yet, but I refuse to move my hand. Or ever wash it again.

Martha was polite and engaging in a manner that I wouldn’t describe as warm. Or friendly. Her tone was confident and civil and her face showed zero signs of flaws. She is a flawless human specimen. You don’t get where she is by being bubbly and vulnerable. “Oh Martha, she’s always letting her walls down!”

She asks me a few questions, which I assume are the “These people paid $200 a ticket to meet me, I have to give them 3 minutes of face time” questions. I mention someone that we both know and Martha makes a humorous crack about this person.

I then attempt to get Martha as a client.

“Well, there are a lot of changes happening in my businesses, why don’t you give me your card?”

Of course, I don’t have any cards. I don’t really use them in my profession.

She then tell me “That’s fine, just email me” and then the conversation comes to a close.

Oh, ok, I’ll just email Martha Stewart. Let’s see…. is it Martha@MarthaStewart.com? And if for some reason, that IS her email address, she’ll will definitely answer me, right?

Also, it was one of those moments in the movies where the chick says, as she’s walking away, “Pick me up at 8” and you realize that specific home addresses have not been discussed!

So, while Martha and I are not currently engaging in weekly conference calls or baking marathons, I can still say I met a true American icon and she can tell her friends about the time she met a nervous man shaking so badly, she was sure he was going to kill her.

A win for both of us!

MARTHA’S ROSE BRUNCH:

GIADA’S ITALIAN FEAST:

Actor Chazz Palminteri apparently has his own vodka.

I haven’t been to a ton of rooftop bars in NYC, but this one is definitely my fav.

Now, you have to be careful with rooftop bars, and here’s why. They’re a pain in the ass.

Rooftop bars are treated like nightclubs. Often times, they’re a velvet rope situation. Bring some chicks and you’ve got a better shot of getting in. Or flash some cash. Or come at a weird time (never nighttime).

Who has time for all that??

I had read that the Pod 39 hotel (near a part of midtown I never venture to) had less attitude, less fuss, wasn’t velvet ropey. I’ll be the judge of that.

We showed up at around 3 pm on a Saturday and there was no line to get upstairs. The place was sufficiently crowded, don’t get me wrong. Just not yet at nightmarish proportions.

As you can see from the pics, the place is gorgeous and offers really impressive views. The margaritas were definitely tasty but I could sense that any second now, the mood would shift.

145 E 39th St
New York, NY 10016
b/t Lexington Ave & 3rd Ave
Midtown East, Murray Hill
(212) 865-5800
salvationtaco.com

chips & guacamole $10

empanadas chihuahua cheese & serrano w charred tomatillo salsa $8

confit chicken on black bean sope w crema & queso fresco $13

moroccan lamb on roti (1 per order) w cucumber pico de gallo & crema $13

EMMY BURGER
dry age beef,
Tom Cat pretzel bun,
EMMY sauce, caramelized onion,
Grafton cheddar,
cornichon & fries
$21

Emily is my new best friend.

She makes the best burger and pizza I’ve had in recent memory (a week, maybe?). Sure, I just ate at the infamous Lucali’s a month ago and enjoyed what chic, luxurious Brooklyn pizza tastes like. A billowy desert of naked crust surrounding a few oasis’s of sauce and cheese. Elegant fresh basil scattered about. Intimate candlelit vibes. Lucali’s is dead sexy.

Emily makes the kind of pizza I would eat in the privacy of my own home. Taking bites that FAR exceed the size of my mouth. Donning tattered rags, face (and couch) covered in tomato sauce. Adding ingredients that might not seem legal. Toppings and/or sauce covering every square inch.

There’s certainly a time and place for both kinds of pizzas.

Emily’s pizza crust is achingly thin, some of the edges almost burnt (those are the best bits). We ordered the most famous Colony pie, which is pepperoni, jalapenos and a touch of honey. It really is the perfect pie. And I’m usually a sausage on pizza guy.

I would have to say that the Emmy Burger is my favorite burger in NYC.

Most of the burgers I’ve tried here fall into two categories. They’re either ten feet tall, crammed with every imaginable topping and impossible to eat with your hands. Or they’re a big, enormous gourmet (expensive) patty with one distinct topping (blue cheese = Spotted Pig….OR….grilled onions/NO cheese = Minetta Tavern) which always tends to underwhelm me.

I like my burgers saucy, cheesy and easy to eat with your hands. That’s it. Those three things.

The Emmy burger is the first burger I’ve eaten in NYC that fulfills all three criteria. It’s a magical burger, indeed.

The drinks are also fantastic. Tasty, boozy and not containing too many esoteric ingredients and not featured in a thimble, offering my parched lips only a few paltry sips to enjoy. I abhor pricey artisan cocktails that come out looking more like tiny vintage shot glasses.

Emily is only open for brunch on Sundays. We arrived at noon (already about 6 people waiting outside ahead of us) and seated and served promptly. The décor is super minimal but you don’t need antique tin ceilings and Edison bulbs when you’re schlepping truly fantastic grub.

919 Fulton St
Brooklyn, NY 11238
b/t Waverly Ave & Clinton Ave
Clinton Hill
(347) 844-9588
pizzalovesemily.com

Kitties in the Bathroom

(Foreground) DUNE DECK – Rum, Luxardo Maraschino, lime, spiced grenadine 12
(Background) AUNTIE BLAYZE – Bourbon, orange liqueur, angostura bitters, citrus 11

Colony — sauce, mozzarella, pepperoni, pickled chilli, honey 18

One more gratuitous shot of the glorious Emmy burger

The Works – Cheeseburger Pizza