Saxon and Parole is a casual yet sophisticated bistro and drinkery in the Bowery that serves one of NYC’s best burgers. It’s definitely a knife and fork burger (it’s about 20 feet tall), but it’s worth the effort. Often times, burgers that you can’t just pick up with your hands, are not worth it. As you can see from the pic, there’s a lot going on here but each ingredients really adds to the equation. Especially the maple bacon.

They also have a Bloody Mary bar, which we did not take advantage of because we didn’t have the brain capacity to do anything for ourselves. I wasn’t even in the mood to take myself to the restroom. I wonder if our waiter could have assisted with that somehow? “Sir, can we have an extra glass for…well, can we?”

The Eggs Benedict on crispy parmesan potato pancakes were quite nice if you have a lighter appetite (or are just not a big ole pig) but you can always supplement with the incredible Breakfast Bread Basket (if you ARE a big ole pig). It’s a thing of beauty, not too overwhelming but each pastry was really tasty and I loved the cream and jams that come with it.

The place was dead for brunch (at least when they first opened for the day) but it’s a very popular place other times. Back to the burger for a moment. It costs $19, so is on the higher side but really worth trying if you’re into that sort of thing. And if you’re not, please go away.

Or better yet, go fix me a bloody mary from the complicated bloody mary bar. I’m too tired to think (or pee by myself) right now.

316 Bowery
New York, NY 10012
b/t Bond St & 2nd St
NoHo
(212) 254-0350
saxonandparole.com

DIY Bloody Mary Bar

Bloody Maria
Altos blanco, fresh vegetable juice, chipotle, fresh cilantro, mezcal float $12

Classic ‘Champagne’ Cocktail
Angostura-soaked sugar cube, sparkling wine, lemon oils $12

BREAKFAST BREAD BASKET
Homemade pastries & bread, salted butter, sweet vanilla butter, homemade jams $9

Virginia surryano ham, crispy potato Parmesan cakes, poached eggs, yuzu hollandaise $15

S+P dry aged Angus burger with Pennsylvania Havarti, maple bacon, a fried egg + fries $19

S+P dry aged Angus burger with Pennsylvania Havarti, maple bacon, a fried egg + fries $19

The only thing I hate about The Spotted Pig is that Kanye West likes it. Reason enough.

Beyond that, they’re one of the most famous restaurants in New York. People that haven’t even stepped foot on the isle of Manhattan will tell you to go there.

As you get in the back of significant line that forms outside (at least for Brunch) you’ll notice that everyone else had been told to come here as well. Are we all just sheep?? Yes, yes we are.

You’ll notice a few things. It’s not very large inside (hence the wait) and that most of the patrons will be speaking a European language. You definitely won’t feel like a local coming here, but you’ll be rewarded with the best damned chicken liver toast on the planet.

Often times, chicken liver needs some serious accoutrements to balance out the salty liver taste, but Spotted Pig’s version does not. This one definitely makes it in my Top Five NYC Dishes list. To be honest, I haven’t actually made this list. But pretending I did, my statement would still stand.

The burger is famous (with the grasshopper leg-thin French fries) but it’s on the simple side, with a substantial amount of blue cheese. It’s very good but…blue cheesey.

The Dutch Baby is highly recommended, very light and thin. For when you want a sweeter breakfast but don’t want to commit yourself to an instant sugar crash food coma.

Even though The Spotted Pig is officially a tourist trap, it’s still a trap I would happily be caught in. Much more pleasing than a bear trap. But certainly not better than a Parent Trap.

Lindsay who??

314 W 11th St
New York, NY 10014
b/t Hudson St & Greenwich St
West Village
Phone number (212) 620-0393
thespottedpig.com

Bloody Mary – $13

Bourbon Iced Tea – $13

Deviled Egg $4

Chicken Liver Toast $9

Dutch Baby with House Bacon & Maple Syrup $16

Chargrilled Burger with Roquefort Cheese & Shoestring Fries $21

Hot dogs are to be found on every corner in NYC. The hot dog is NYC’s official food. I am using the term “food” as loosely as possible (as loose as one’s bowels after consuming said hot dog). A hot dog really isn’t a food. It’s a food product. It’s something that “may contain food”.

I have had a love/hate/dislike/loathe relationship with hot dogs my entire life. I had always avoided them until a few years ago, when I decided to, once again, embrace what I like to call “America’s Sausage”.

As you can see from the pics below, Bark has a very clean, casual and pleasant interior. Service is very friendly and the price point is pretty standard for the neighborhood.

If you don’t want to spend a little more dough for a vastly better hot dog, than you can take your food-poisoned self back to the sketchy hot dog cart. Good luck with that.

We tried both the Cheddar Bratwurst and the Bacon Cheddar Hot Dog. I really enjoyed both immensely. I didn’t even decide on a favorite. I liked them both equally. Really enjoyed the slaw on top of the bratwurst but the smokey bacon added just enough to the dog without overpowering it’s dogginess.

Here’s a little blurb from their website:

What make’s your hot dog so special?

“Great question! The Bark hot dog is so simple and so delicious! It’s made with only 3 cuts of local NY State meat. Pork Belly, Pork Shoulder, and Beef Shoulder. No nasty fillers or odds and ends. Add in a couple spices and seasoning, no artificial additives of course, and slow smoked to perfection!

It’s wrapped in a lamb casing and griddle roasted, then basted with Bark’s famous “Bark butter, a blend of sweet cream butter, sea salt, and smoked pork belly fat.”

155 Bleecker St
New York, NY 10012
b/t Thompson St & Sullivan St
Greenwich Village
(718) 789-1939
barkhotdogs.com

CHEDDAR BRATWURST
Pork, Beef, and Wisconsin Cheddar Smoked Sausage

BACON-CHEDDAR DOG
Nueske’s bacon, Bark Grafton cheddar sauce and pickled red onions

Pier A: the best view and the worst food.

Ok, I won’t be so dramatic. It wasn’t all bad. The Fish and Chips were very nice. Crispy and not too oily or soggy and the fish was perfectly cooked. No complaints. Oh, well actually, one complaint. The fries were cold. Yet still very tasty.

The hummus was solid (not literally) and I technically had no real complaints with the Tuna Tartare (once we added a generous portion of salt).

The salad was dull and uninspired. Are restaurants still dumping pre-mixed bags of wilted “mixed greens” on a plate, adding a few crumbles of miscellaneous cheese and sneezing a scant amount of store bought dressing atop and actually selling it? Apparently so.

I guess the only real horrendous dish served to us was the Manhattan Clam Chowder.

Now, when you think of clam chowder, most people think (and prefer) the rich and creamy New England version. Does anyone actually like that red, thin and flavorless Manhattan crap? It reminds me of the ocean water in a shark attack movie. When the shark has just bit into it’s victim, and the water has turned that red murky color.

Not only was it gross but it was also luke warm. Actually, it was whatever the word is for when something is colder than luke warm. It was colder than luke warm. It was luke cold.

Regardless, we had to send it back. They kindly gave us the hummus for free, in it’s place. The hummus was served warmer than the chowder had been, funny enough.

That being said, I still loved this place.

Outside, on the picnic benches, there is a lively and festive atmosphere. The views of the Hudson River and the Statue of Liberty were awe inspiring. The reggae sounds of one of the Marley’s wafting in the breeze. The beer is cold and the On Tap “Dark and Stormys” are quite tasty.

Overall, this is the perfect place for a summertime drink with an incredible view. Don’t come expecting a mind blowing meal. Stomach churning, perhaps. If they make you order food, be sure to stay FAR away from the shark attack chowder. You’ll wish a shark had bitten off your hand before you had a chance to point out the chowder on the menu to the waitress.

22 Battery Pl
New York, NY 10004
(212) 785-0153
piera.com

Best View – Worst Food (well, mostly)

HUMMUS DIP $10
Smoked Paprika, Toasted Pita

Manhattan Clam Chowder – $10

MIXED GREEN SALAD $10
Shaved Veggies, Balsamic Dressing

TUNA TARTARE $18
Avocado, Cucumber, Cilantro

FISH AND CHIPS $18
with French Fries and Coleslaw

According to Eater NYC, Santina is THE brunch spot for the summer. That’s a lot of pressure. I’m sure you’ll soon find a few haters in the Yelp comment sections decrying Eater’s bold statement.

Here are a few things you can’t decry. The location is perfection. Right under the tail end of the High Line park. Foot traffic alone will keep this place in business for eons and the people watching is unparalleled.

It’s also pretty gorgeous. A half dozen, brightly colored glass chandelier’s contribute to tropical, Miami-esque atmosphere.

One thing I did find a bit boring were the Cecina’s. They’re essentially empty crepes you fill with various items, such as raw tuna and lamb tartare. I found our tuna cecina to be virtually flavorless.

We ordered a fun pitcher of a very refreshing Campari cocktail but, to be honest, I’m not even sure they have it on the menu anymore. They were over $50 bucks, so maybe that scared away customers.

For half that price, you can order an enormous potted plant filled with an edible garden! It’s beautiful and fun and the dipping sauces turn an ordinary vegetable into the equivalent of a mozzarella stick!

Never have a crammed a raw bok choy leaf in my mouth with the same enthusiasm as a cheeseburger egg roll!

Many Yelpers order the vegetable carpaccios (They’re seasonal. It was once squash, now, I see it’s zucchini) and rave about them.

We ordered the brunch only “Fish Sandwich” which may sound dull, but it’s delicious! Definitely order that.

The breakfast sandwich was tasty, helped by the various sauces provided.

Overall, I would agree with Eater that Santina is, indeed, the brunch spot of the summer. Take a walk on the highline to burn off some of those calories and then maybe check out the new Whitney museum, which is right next door. Make an afternoon of it. Or not. Whatever. Why would I care what you do? Geez, my mood sure took a turn for the worst.

820 Washington St
New York, NY 10014
b/t Gansevoort St & Little W 12th St
Meatpacking District, West Village
Get Directions
(212) 254-3000
santinanyc.com

Brunch Cocktail Pitcher – $50

Giardinia Crudite – $25

CALABRIAN TUNA – CECINA

Fried Fish Sandwich

SANTINA SANDWICH ·
SCRAMBLED, EGGS FONTINA, GREEN CHILI

Buttermilk Channel is one of those “line out the door” brunch spots. NYC has a lot of those. Oh boy.

While, I wasn’t expecting to encounter a line, before the restaurant had even opened, they did manage to seat everyone fairly quickly.

Everything on their brunch menu looked decadent and delicious. Items like Pecan Pie French Toast and the Fried Pork Chop & Cheddar Waffles seemed to be the thing ordered most.

We opted for the pork chop, which was on the larger side. Nicely coated and seasoned and perfectly cooked. Unique for a breakfast menu but also seemed like something that should be on every breakfast menu in the city.

The Lox Platter is a nice option if you’re less hungry. Nothing mind blowing but as good as a lox platter can expect to be. Until Lox can adequately be deep fried and be served alongside dipping sauces, it’s excitement factor has a clearly defined ceiling.

The Banana Sticky Bun didn’t tasty very banana-y. I didn’t even finish it, to be honest. If you’re with a group and are craving something sweet, order the Pecan Pie French Toast for the table and everyone can have a few bites after they finish their own entrée.

As lovely as choosing something like pancakes or French toast for your main course may sound, it usually spells disaster for any sort of post-brunch activities. Your immediate future is a hard sugar crash and a long ass nap.

524 Court St
Brooklyn, NY 11231
b/t Garnet St & Huntington St
Carroll Gardens
(718) 852-8490
buttermilkchannelnyc.com

The line waiting to get in at 10 am, when they first opened.

Bloody Mary – The Classic – $11

Banana Walnut Sticky Bun – $4

House-Cured Lox Platter – $13

Fried Pork Chop & Cheddar Waffles – $16

Vynl is a casual, fun explosion of pop culture with a strong 80’s vibe, all revolving around the obvious Record theme.

There are records stuck to the walls, hanging from light fixtures and even your menus are tucked inside plastic covered LP’s.

The cocktails are named after famous pop stars and as over-the-top and sickly sweet they may seem, they manage to be both tasty and potent.

Just like in real life, the Lindsay Lohan (Lemonade) will get you effed up.

The food is a quirky mix of creative comfort food with a heavy Asian slant. I mean twist. You’ll find items like cheeseburger egg rolls, Kung Pao Shrimp Tacos, Thai Deviled Eggs listed as appetizers.

Fried Chicken and Waffles and traditional Pad Thai are some of the entrees to choose from (we ordered both).

All the food we ordered was delicious, certainly nothing fell short. That being said, the Cheeseburger Egg Rolls most definitely stood out as the must order item. They were so decadent, I still sometimes dream about them.

Vynl is located on a lively stretch of Hell’s Kitchen and a good start to a fun night out. Do not come here for a quiet, romantic dinner but would be a great spot for a first date. Or even to break up with someone, at least the music will be so loud you won’t be able to hear their crying/screaming.

756 9th Ave
New York, NY 10019
b/t 51st St & 50th St
Theater District, Hell’s Kitchen, Midtown West
(212) 974-2003
vynl-nyc.com

Justin Cucumberlake (Vodka with muddled cucumber, ginger and lime) and Spice Girl (Jalepeno Tequila, Blood Orange, Lime and Simple Syrup)

Britney Spears – Sweet Tea Vodka, Vynl’s House Lemonade and pureed White Peach

Thai Deviled Eggs
crispy shallots, basil ~5

Cheeseburger Egg Rolls

Chicken Pad Thai
bean sprouts, carrots, peanuts, cilantro ~15

Fried Chicken and Waffles
maple tabasco ~17

Snack Taverna is a perfectly fine, upscale Greek restaurant in the West Village.

Ambiance is fine, the service is fine and the food was fine.

Would I go again? No. Why not? No particular reason. Just no reason too. If the food was about half as cheap, perhaps I could find my way back there but I can’t think of a single example of why I should.

Was this my least thought out review ever? Perhaps. I do apologize for that. It’s the day after the 4th of July holiday and I got nothing left. I gots nothing for ya.

63 Bedford St
New York, NY 10014
b/t Morton St & Commerce St
West Village
(212) 929-3499
snacktaverna.com

The Perfect Meatloaf Sandwich

I realize that I have about 1435 more sandwiches to consume in New York City, but so far, Eisenberg’s makes my favorite.

I’ve been here a dozen times, I’ve tried them all. You can’t go wrong, no matter which you choose.

The breakfast sandwiches are simple but excellent. The pastrami is top notch. Not exactly Katz or Carnegie caliber, but still quite impressive.

The meatloaf sandwich, however, is the best I’ve ever had. Packed with flavor!

And that’s coming from someone that makes a mean meatloaf. A Meanloaf, if you will.

Often times, restaurants perhaps add a few grains of salt to season their meatloaf and that’s it. Bland City. It’s meat formed in the shape of a loaf, folks. You gotta put some effort into it.

This divey diner opened in 1929, it’s a often crowded, no-nonsense eat-and-run kind of joint. I mostly get my food to go, but today I dined in. Cuz I’m fancy.

The waitress was pleasant enough but I could tell she grew tired of my dining companion’s constant questions.

Word to the wise: Just order, eat and leave. No questions. No substitutions. No whining. It’s a metaphor for life in New York City, essentially.

174 5th Ave
New York, NY 10010
b/t East 23rd St & 22nd St
Flatiron
(212) 675-5096
eisenbergsnyc.com

ALL PHOTOS TAKEN WITH AN iPHONE

Pastrami, Corned Beef, Swiss and Slaw – $12.50