Chewy Green Tea Noodles (v). ginger scallion, hoisin, matcha

Mission Chinese is an insanely popular hipster Chinese located in the lower east side. They don’t take ressies, which means you’d better eat early or be ok with waiting a while for a table.

Perhaps you should get tested for a disease or something and wait in Mission’s bar/waiting area for the results. It could be a while, so you may as well drink your worries away. Don’t worry, I’m sure you don’t have…whatever it is you just got tested for.

We arrived at around 5:30 pm on a Wednesday and the place was already nicely full, however, we were promptly seated. On our way out, however, the waiting area was packed to the spicy gills with hungry peeps. Most likely waiting for their test results, judging by their anxious demeanor.

Let’s face it, this place is fun! The décor is fun, the Twin Peaks soundtrack playing in the fake flower-laden basement hallway where the bathrooms reside (the lights dim creepily as you initiate the hand dryer) the cocktails are fun and the food is…well, freaking tasty! Oh, and fun.

Mission Chinese immediately became the place I had to remember to take people if they wanted an entertaining and delicious night out. Too bad my memory sucks, which means no visiting friends shall get the pleasure of coming here. Sorry, friends.

The standout cocktail has to be the Phil Khallins, which is served in a teacup and looks like a refreshing bowl of Thai coconut soup. And is similarly flavored.

We ordered a bunch of items but my favs were the Green Tea Noodles and the thrice cooked bacon, which is mostly rice cakes and pieces of bacon and the entire dish is just hellishly spicy.

But not as spicy as those wings! Not for the faint of heart, these wings will literally dissolve the first few layers of mouth skin. Beware. I loved them but no one at my table could really enjoy them. Which I loved, because that meant they were ALL MINE!

The complimentary fried dumplings to start with were tasty but I don’t recall them being anything that stood out. But hey, they’re free so you can just stop complaining. I’m talking to myself, by the way. I’m not yelling at you.

There’s a fun bar next door, if you wish to continue the night (which we did). There’s also Apotheke, a speakeasy hidden down a back alley in Chinatown if you still have energy after that (which we did).

171 E Broadway
New York, NY 10002
b/t East Broadway & Pike St
Lower East Side
(212) 432-0300
missionchinesefood.com

ALL PHOTOS TAKEN WITH AN iPHONE:

The eerie hallway where the bathrooms are located

Phil Khallins – Gin, coconut, kaffir lime, fried chili, ginger, lemongrass, sesame oil.

No clue what this is…

General Tso’s Old Fashioned – Rye, peanut and sesame, maggi, ginger, orange peel, chilis, palm sugar.

Koji Fried Chicken hainanese style, bitter lemon

Thrice Cooked Bacon ** (v). shanghai rice cakes, bitter melon, sweet tofu skins.

Chongoing Chicken Wings ** crispy beef tripe, explosive chili, xinjiang spices.

Red Cabbage Salad sesame, anchovy, crunchy buckwheat.

Rosemary’s Club Panini

Rosemary’s is a beautiful, spacious restaurant in the West Village perfect for pasta or a Panini, both of which they do quite well.

I’ve seen quite a crowd form outside (they don’t take reservations) so come early for whatever meal you’re here for.

The breakfast options seemed a bit uninspired and dull (aka, didn’t seem like they would fill my stomach to capacity) so we stuck with some of their more popular dinner dishes. I did hear two old guys next to us keep mentioning the “eggs in purgatory” dish, which did look tasty in person. I guess that dish is slightly inspired. Sorry, I guess I was just in a mood for the first part of the paragraph. I’m much better now.

We started with the Celery root and kale Caesar salad which was really simple but tasty. Heavy on the celery root and the dressing was excellent. Made me feel less guilty for getting my friend club Panini sandwich.

I must admit, I often stay away from Paninis. They’re like the snobby sister of the grilled cheese. Not enough cheese and dry as a bone. Usually not impressive. This one had plenty of super flavorful ingredients. Not a ton of cheese but I didn’t miss it.

The bread was rosemary focaccia which was so tasty, I wouldn’t have cared what was placed inside. Old Boot Panini? Fine! As long as there’s rosemary focaccia involved, I’m in.

The broccoli and sausage pasta was really delicious. I’ve seen this combo on plenty of menus (In LA and NYC) however, so far, I’ve not been disappointed by any of them. It’s on the heavier side, in case you’re not in the mood for a nap-inducing meal.

They have a rooftop garden where they grow many of their veggies, which was really nifty. I would have gone up there to check it out, but I grew lazy upon my last few bites. The number of stairs to the roof began to multiply before my eyes!

Prices were average for the area, service was prompt and friendly and I really loved how spacious it was inside. Not your typical cramped, hot-as-hell village bistro.

18 Greenwich Ave
New York, NY 10011
b/t Charles St & 10th St
(212) 647-1818
rosemarysnyc.com

Green Juice (kale, apple cucumber, celery, fennel)

Rosemary’s Lemon Fizz (Rosemary Lemonade, simple syrup, prosecco)

Kale Celery Root Caesar

Orchiette with Broccoli Rabe, Sausage and Fresno Chili

Rosemary’s Club Panini (Turkey, Smoked Ham, maple bacon, escarole, provolone)

The Reinvented Classic – Pasture Raised Pork, Local Baby Bok Choy & Organic Cabbage

I think Mimi Cheng’s makes the best dumplings I’ve ever had.

Your typical Chinatown dumpling is all about the fried wrapper and the dipping sauces. The contents are often bland and pointless.

What sets these apart is the high quality ingredients, especially the fresh ginger. It’s amazing what a difference that makes.

Sure, you’ll pay more for that quality. This isn’t Prosperity or Vanessa’s, where someone will angrily toss you 4 fried dumplings for a buck. And you’ll eat every bite in about a minute.

Mimi Cheng’s dumplings are meant to be savored. Take your time. Use plenty of Mimi’s Secret Sauce (like a spicy garlic soy sauce). Don’t take all day, mind you. Just no need to shove them all in your mouth at once.

Unless you’re doing it as part of a self inflicted dumpling eating contest and, in that case, you have my blessing.

179 Second Ave
New York, NY 10003
East Village
mimichengs.com

ALL PHOTOS TAKEN WITH AN iPHONE

Couldn’t be fresher!

The Reinvented Classic – Pasture Raised Pork, Local Baby Bok Choy & Organic Cabbage

Lunch Tasting Menu – $49

Scoring a hard-to-get reservation at a popular restaurant is usually a challenge I’m up for. I don’t mind calling exactly at 10 am, one month before my desired dining date or refreshing Opentable.com every few seconds over the course of an entire work day for new availabilities.

However, every man has his limits. After a while, it’s just humiliating. How much rejection can one person take?? I’m not going to eat dinner at 10 pm on a Monday night. I have my dignity, for Pete’s sake.

After about 6 months of trolling my Open Table app at 5 am, bleary-eyed and frustrated, I just bit the bullet.

I reserved a table for lunch with the other grandpas.

When all else fails, go for lunch. As long as they’re open for lunch. That part is important.

Once you’ve resigned yourself to the fact that your sexy meal is now more of a geriatric one, it’s actually kind of fun. Just like at dinner, where bedtime follows shortly, you’ll be drunk and napping shortly after your meal.

Welcome to old age.

Visiting a fancy restaurant for lunch is also a good way to save a few shekels.

In the case of Babbo, the lunch tasting menu ($49) was half the cost of the dinner one ($99). How economical!

We also decided on the wine pairings, which were only $35 extra (for dinner, it’s $75 pp).

We arrived at the almost brunch-ish time of 11:45 am to find only about 2 other parties in the restaurant. About 15 minutes later, the dining room was completely full. Apparently, other folks had the same idea. Cheap, impatient bastards.

The meal started with a free crostini appetizer. I don’t know if that’s what they called it but that’s what I’m calling it. After one bite, every available chickpea fell off my toast, onto the table and spread everywhere like Chinese checkers.

I glanced over at a neighboring table who had just been handed those same appetizers. I watched in delight as the exact same thing happened to her and I tried to suppress a giggle.

The wines poured with each course were about a half glass worth. I won’t go over each one cuz I have no recollection of them. One white, two reds and a sweet, dessert wine with dessert. There, that’s all your gettin’.

After the crostini, came the poached baby artichokes on the eggplant caponata. Tasty but not my favorite. I pretend to like eggplant more than I really do.

Then came the world’s smallest portion of pasta. It was delicious but I wanted 4 more portions of it. Or 10. Whatever the amount that can safely fit inside of a Chef Boyardee can. That’s how much I would have preferred.

Then came the best part of the meal, the pork tenderloin with braised fennel and blood orange. Fantastic flavors, everything was well cooked. Also on the smaller side but definitely the largest of all the dishes.

Dessert came and we were given both the olive oil cake and this tasty apple tart situation. Both really fantastic, not a single complaint. At first, it might be jarring for some to witness a bottle of olive oil being drizzled over your dessert but just get over it. It’s a healthy fat.

As an added bonus, we were given a plate of petite fours to munch on. Restaurants offer these peace offerings to apologize in advance for the horrific bill that is to come. Perhaps the sugar coma reduces ones vision, so the bill appears to be smaller.

I’m not going to lie. If someone were to hold me up at gunpoint directly after this meal, but instead of taking any money, they insisted I devour a very large cheeseburger…..I wouldn’t have fought too hard.

Sure, I could have kept playing the reservation game, found a 5 pm dinner slot on some random Tuesday. Then I would have been served double the food (for double the money) but then what would have I have to bitch and moan about??

110 Waverly Pl
New York, NY 10011
b/t N Washington Sq & Mac Dougal St in Greenwich Village
(212) 777-0303
babbonyc.com

ALL PHOTOS TAKEN WITH AN iPHONE

Chickpea and Olive Tapenade Crostinis

Poached Baby Artichokes with Eggplant Caponata and Mint

Pasta

Grilled Heritage Pork Loin with Braised Fennel and Blood Orange

Olive Oil Cake and Gelato

Petit Fours

Husk Meringue corn mousse

Cosme had so much buzz prior to opening, it was almost palpable (and annoying). Everyone wanted to eat there the second they opened, myself included. We all needed to just chill out about the whole thing.

I wouldn’t dare belittle the menu by calling it Mexican fusion. Fusion is the Papyrus font of the culinary world.

Instead, I’ll mimic Cosme’s use of Contemporary Mexican Inspired. Much more sophisticated sounding.

Getting a reservation here wasn’t so hard, as long as I didn’t mind knowing 2 months in advance that I’ll be craving contemporary Mexican inspired foodstuffs. Sure, I’ll take that gamble.

Luckily, I was!

I was thankful they took ressies so far in advance, because I’m a SuperPlanner (TM) and happy to go apeshit on the OpenTable website (which Cosme is NOT a part of) if it means I can eventually, one day in the far off future, eat somewhere nifty.

Here are some facts. Cosme is gorgeous and spacious. Cosme is expensive. Cosme is delicious.

Definitely best saved for a special occasion rather than a happy hour taco stop. Granted, they have tacos. But they’re duck and will set you back $49 bucks. If not prepared, that hour will not be so happy.

I come from LA, where sashimi is king and find myself often disappointed with NYC’s raw fish options (fluke is everywhere and I’m not a fan of it’s chewy consistency) but Cosme’s Hamachi with lime and jalapenos was a much needed breath of fish-scented air.

The margaritas were SO good, you must order one upon arrival. Immediately. Like, when they ask you if you want sparkling or still water, you need to shriek “MARGARITAS!”

Just imagine you’re comic book Cathy and you’re bemoaning bathing suit season.

The duck carnitas were wonderfully flavorful, not too fatty and plenty of delicious sauces to stuff inside your lil tacos.

Cosme’s most famous dish, splashed across social media, is the Husk Meringue with Corn Mousse. Not to jump on the bandwagon here, but I loved everything about this dish. The crispy meringue shell paired nicely with the creamy custard-like mousse hiding inside. I felt like a polar bear smashing an igloo to get to the tasty penguins.

The corn flavor is really subtle, in case that scares you. And if it does, you need to relax. It’s just corn, freak.

35 E 21st St
New York, NY 10010
b/t Broadway & 5th Ave
Flatiron
(212) 913-9659
cosmenyc.com

ALL PHOTOS TAKEN WITH AN iPHONE (except for the obviously stolen pic)

Sliced Raw Hamachi fermented jalapeños, black limes – $19

Duck Carnitas white onions, radishes, salsa verde (to share) – $49

Duck Carnitas